Mother’s Day can be tough for some - spare a thought

This coming Sunday is Mother’s Day, otherwise known as Mothering Sunday.

Mothering Sunday was first celebrated in the UK around the 17th Century, and falls on the fourth Sunday in Lent. The tradition mainly involved visiting your ‘mother’ church, sometimes the church you had been baptised in, and initially, it didn’t have a clear-cut link to actual human mothers.

The festival experienced a revival in 1913 thanks to a woman called Constance Smith, who had been inspired by the success of America’s first Mother’s Days.

Under the pen-name C. Penswick Smith, she published a booklet “The Revival of Mothering Sunday” in 1920. This, coupled with the fallout of the First World War, when hundreds of thousands of mothers were left without sons, soon meant that the festival was widely celebrated, and eventually it spread through Britain, ending up on every calendar. Now, it has grown into the vastly commercialised event we have today.

This year, for the second year running, I will not be seeing either my mother, or my children. While I would dearly love to be able to do both, I stop and think of myself as one of the lucky ones, for I know that when restrictions change, I will be able to make up for lost times and see them all again. I am also aware at this time, of how fortunate I am to have both a mother, and have children, for not everyone is as fortunate.

When I was an infant teacher, there was always an expectation that the children would make something in school to take home for their mothers, but as the years went on, I also discovered that not every child was being brought up by their mother, and that there are complex family situations. As a minister journeying with people, I too understand that Mother’s Day is not always an easy day for some people for a variety of reasons, for life doesn’t mirror all the happy ever after movies.

There is a prayer I often use in church on Mother’s Day remembering those who find the day difficult. We remember those mothers who parent on their own with no one to share the joys and sorrows with. We remember mothers who have given children up for adoption or who have become separated from their children, and of course we remember mothers who have experienced the death of their child, either in pregnancy or older. We pray for children too, those who have had difficult relationships with their mothers, those who never knew their mothers, and those children who have suffered the death of their mother. We remember too those who would have loved to be a mother, but circumstances didn’t allow.

Human relationships have the potential to bring such joy, but as I have experienced, they can bring sorrow too.

So, if you’re a mother, or someone who has a mother, I hope you enjoy Sunday, but spare a thought for those whose Mother’s Day is tinged with sadness.