MEET ME IN… HOTEL CAFE ROYAL, London

Looking for discreet decadence? Make yourself at home…

THE LOCATION: WEST END, HIGH END

London hotels don’t get much more central than this: set right on Regent Street, it’s part of the arc of Nash designed buildings before Piccadilly Circus. You’re in the best place for theatreland, the bars and restaurants of Soho, and more shopping than even a Kardashian could handle. Taxis have to drop you at the back, but you should definitely walk round: you want the front for your grand entrance.

THE FOOD: TIME FOR TEA

Named after one of its most colourful patrons, the fabulous Oscar Wilde bar does an award-winning afternoon tea where you come away with a Diptyque candle in the hotel’s signature scent (Baies). The Green Bar serves the great man’s favourite tipple, absinthe, plus all sorts of weird and wonderful tonics and botanicals.

The Ten Room has casual brasserie-style dining, or head to the newly named Papillon for detox salads and savoury crêpes.

THE LOOK: CLASSIC COOL

The 160 rooms and suites tick all the right boxes for classic, contemporary luxury: cool Portland stone, English oak panelling, carrara marble bathrooms, Frette linens and Floris bathroom products. If your credit card can handle it, book one of the seven signature suites: the Tudor to channel Wolf Hall, the Empire for a spot of Napoleonic decadence, or the Dome party palace, where £22k a night buys you a terrace, acres of space, a butler and psychedelic disco lights.

THE VIBE: QUIETLY ELEGANT

The revolving doors sweep you into a beautiful, discreet lobby that feels more like the entrance of a grand townhouse than a hotel, with its gilded crests, gleaming brass handrails, massive chandeliers and towering Jamie Aston flower displays. Combining old-school glamour and modern elegance, this is somewhere you’ll want to swoop into with your finest LV-monogrammed luggage.

WE LOVED: THE SUPER STAFF

The spectacular Akasha Holistic Wellbeing Centre is a haven of serenity hidden away under the hotel. Here, you can have all manner of face, body and mind treatments (facials, scrubs, life coaching, yoga), and try out the swanky gym, swimming pool, sauna, hammam, and Watsu pool (poetry-in-water therapy, anyone?). The ornate Pompadour room is a gorgeously ornate venue for weddings and parties, and occasionally hosts pop-ups. And we couldn’t leave without a shout out to the staff, who just can’t do enough for you.