JEF­FREY COMBS The hor­ror icon has a ter­ri­fy­ing brush with the quiz that will not die


1 In The Man With Two Brains, your char­ac­ter pre­pares Kath­leen Turner for brain surgery by in­stead shav­ing her pu­bic hair into what shape?

A heart, be­cause it’s Valen­tine’s Day! I got to work with the great Steve Martin. The joke is he pointed at it and goes, “What is that?” I look at my co­hort and go, “He doesn’t know what that is?” And I whis­per, “It’s a vagina.” And Steve Martin said, “Whis­per, ‘It’s a pussy.’” I was so shocked Steve Martin said, “It’s a pussy.” Cor­rect.

2 With which direc­tor have you worked most? Stuart Gor­don or Brian Yuzna?

What did I do with Brian? Bride Of Re-an­i­ma­tor, Be­yond Re-an­i­ma­tor, Ne­cro­nomi­con and I don’t know what else. Oh, Faust! I for­got about Faust, be­cause I want to. Stuart was Re-an­i­ma­tor, Fortress, Ro­bot Jox, The Pit And The Pen­du­lum,

and Cas­tle Freak. And I did a promo for an Aliens ride with Stuart, and a one-man stage show about Poe with him. So I’d say Stuart Gor­don. Cor­rect.

3 In Re-an­i­ma­tor’s pre-cred­its se­quence, what is the last thing Her­bert West says?

“No, I did not. I gave him life.” We had a mas­sive 18 days to shoot that movie, which is sad, but we did it. But some­thing had to give, so they jet­ti­soned that se­quence. Then they put the movie to­gether and said, ‘Let’s put up a bit more money and get that scene shot.’ So we shot that a month later. Cor­rect.

4 In Love And A .45, in the tat­too tor­ture se­quence Di­nosaur Bob com­pares him­self to which fa­mous artist?

“I’m a god­damn Vin­cent van Gogh.” But he says Vic­tor van Gogh. He gets it fuck­ing wrong. He con­fuses him­self with Vic­tor Franken­stein and Vin­cent van Gogh. That’s one of my favourite movies. I thought it would branch me out, so peo­ple would say, “He’s more than that Her­bert West guy.” Wrong! Cor­rect.

5 You’ve played HP Love­craft. But you’ve also played a char­ac­ter called HP Hate­craft on which show?

In Scooby-doo! I did two episodes, one with the great writer Har­lan El­li­son. I was Pro­fes­sor Hate­craft with Scoob and Shaggy and the gang. Cor­rect.

6 In Be­yond Re-an­i­ma­tor, what does NPE stand for?

Neu­ral blah-blah-blah. You got me. Neu­ral Pro­to­sin… I don’t re­mem­ber. The cor­rect an­swer is Nano-plas­mic En­ergy.

7 In Fortress, how does D-day de­scribe the ex­plo­sive na­ture of The In­testi­na­tor de­vice to Christo­pher Lam­bert?

Dude, you’re go­ing into my an­cient mem­ory banks of di­a­logue I’ve just got­ten rid of. I don’t know what he says. The cor­rect an­swer is, “We’re talk­ing TNT on PMS.”

8 Which of your char­ac­ters says, “You are vi­o­lat­ing my ter­ri­to­rial bub­ble”?

That would be Spe­cial FBI Agent Mil­ton Dam­mers in the great Peter Jackson’s The

Fright­en­ers. I say that line to the sher­iff, who is an ac­tor named Troy Evans. I’ve known Troy since I was a puppy. Cor­rect.

9 In Bride Of Re-an­i­ma­tor, the bride is forged from many com­po­nent parts. To whom did the legs orig­i­nally be­long?

The legs be­long to a pros­ti­tute, I be­lieve. Cor­rect.

10 You’ve played a num­ber of char­ac­ters across Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Voy­ager and En­ter­prise. Who is miss­ing from: Wey­oun, Brunt, Of­fi­cer Mulka­hey, Tiron, Penk, Com­man­der Shran…?

You’ve worked on this, dude. [Pause] Oh, Krem, from En­ter­prise! I think also there’s one episode in Deep Space Nine where I play both Brunt and Wey­oun in the same episode. What was even more amaz­ing is that they paid me twice! Cor­rect.


“Eight? That’s pa­thetic. That’s a B+. But I can only hold on to so much in­for­ma­tion.”


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