NOEL CLARKE

WATER-SLIDE ATTENDANT & LIFEGUARD

“I was a water-slide attendant at a sports centre. You would climb up the top of the slide to make sure there’s nothing in there that can hurt anyone. Then you would turn it on and you just say: ‘Go... Go...’ I had to clean the changing rooms as well, and I made £50 a month. It was only two days a week, though — they didn’t turn the slide on for weekdays. Kids were not allowed to have fun in the week. It was actually not so bad a job, but my others were lifeguarding, which had many perks, let me tell you, and a gym instructor, which had even more perks.”