He’s a cool guy. He’s try­ing to help you


Dear Billy Bit con­cerned that one of my close fam­ily mem­bers is some­thing of a closet racist. They keep post­ing memes on a pop­u­lar so­cial net­work, and mak­ing the kind of broad, sweep­ing state­ments that make me deeply un­com­fort­able. Should I con­front them? Don¹t want to kick off World War III, but it ap­pals me that some­one who’s my flesh and blood can hold such views. Or should I un­friend them and hope they don’t no­tice? Yours, tl Like it or not, friend or fam­ily, that racist needs help like all oth­ers with that sickly con­di­tion. Ex­treme xeno­pho­bic gen­er­al­is­ing is a prod­uct of fear, ig­no­rance, and some se­ri­ous self­loathing. as the grown-up in the room, en­gage them with the love and com­pas­sion they are so lack­ing to help them feel bet­ter about them­selves. as easy as it is to hate a racist, it is seem­ingly as easy for them to be a racist. Do the hard thing. Be big­ger. Wiser. While pun­ish­ment should be re­served for crim­i­nal be­hav­iour when racism acts out, if you have the op­por­tu­nity to nip this fes­ter­ing can­cer in the bud, and help shape a more com­pas­sion­ate, broader world view be­fore it takes root, try to do so. In­deed, have a word. al­though speak to them first with­out con­dem­na­tion, as that tends to make peo­ple, no mat­ter how brazenly wrong, jus­tify and de­fend. Lead them out of the woods and demon­strate the won­der­ful ben­e­fits that love at­tracts over hate ev­ery time. Dear Billy Bit awk­ward, this one, but what should you do when the fizz goes out of a long-term re­la­tion­ship? Phys­i­cally speak­ing, that is. Still love my boyfriend to bits, but lately the spark hasn’t been there. Any thoughts? Yours, ab Oh, that old chest­nut. get the tv out of the bed­room. Read books to each other be­fore bed. add two parts spark, three parts fizz and a bit of al­co­hol, and some love. then have sex in ev­ery other room but the bed­room for the next three next days. Don’t take pic­tures. But do let us know how that worked for you. En­joy! Hey Billy You are, in­deed, a cool guy. I love this col­umn. Your wis­dom has been won­der­ful to read, and now I find my­self in need of it. Ba­si­cally, I loaned a fairly large sum of money to a good friend of mine a while ago, and they’re not fall­ing over them­selves to pay it back. Ev­ery time I re­mind them, they change the sub­ject. It’s go­ing to get to the point soon where I might need the money to help my­self out of a fi­nan­cial bind. How do I get them to pay me back with­out ru­in­ing the friend­ship? All the best, JW I told you I’d get you the money! this is a low way to come at me! In pub­lic? so hu­mil­i­at­ing! Is noth­ing sa­cred? I guess not. Noth­ing is off lim­its when your needs are on the line. Fine! You’ll get it first thing. send me the wire in­struc­tions. Jeez! Hope that helps. ;) there is noth­ing to pre­serve if this cat is swerv­ing you and doesn’t have the de­cency to ad­dress the is­sue. get your dosh. Hi Billy Fel­low ac­tor here, about to tread the boards for the first time. Any ad­vice on how to con­quer those open­ing-night nerves? Cheers, KP Your blood sugar will drop. Your heart will race. You’ll feel faint. great stuff! When I didn’t want that par­tic­u­lar rush, salt worked for me. I put a pinch in the pocket of ev­ery piece of wardrobe I was wear­ing. Just a touch on the tongue was enough to ground me. I did it right be­fore I went on and it was just nice to know it was there if I needed it. If you don’t have is­sues with salt and your doc­tor ap­proves, give it a shot.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.