HOW MUCH IS A PINT OF MILK

SAM CLAFLIN

Trust us, this is no Claflin matter.

What one thing do you do better than anyone else you know?

Make my little boy laugh. Actually, I don’t know. I might be a close second to my wife [Laura Haddock]. But doing funny voices. I’m pretty good at animal noises. Sort of bird noises, and weird little whistles.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever put in your mouth?

Once, when I was drunk, my little brother went into my fridge and chose a collection of dips and sauces and liquids and poured them all into a pint, and said, “Dare you to drink this.” I drank it. He had to call me the next morning to check I was still alive.

Who was your first movie crush?

It was actually more from a TV show, and it was Pamela Anderson in Baywatch. I can’t remember how young I was, but I’m pretty sure I was too young to be watching it. I was completely obsessed. She was the love of my life. I even had a picture of her on my bedside table that I’d kiss before I went to bed, in the hope that one day we would be wed.

Have you ever knowingly broken the law?

I did a bit of graffiti on a park bench once. It was my new nickname: Worm. Because I looked like a worm, apparently. And — this is how stupid I am — I told my mum that my buddies had given me this new nickname. Later she saw it plastered all over the bench. A policeman friend of hers made me sand the bench down. I learned the hard way that breaking the law is wrong. I paid the price. How much is a pint of milk? Truthfully, being a father, I don’t just buy a pint of milk. I have to buy six pints, or four pints — you know, the big tankards. I’d say they’re about £2.16. So for a pint I’m gonna say 49 pence. That’s a wild stab in the dark. Oh, mate, I’m just throwing numbers. I really have no clue.

What’s in your pocket right now?

Um. My phone. My wallet and my keys. And that’s it. I feel like that’s a staple answer. If you’d asked me about this an hour ago, I’d have had six dog-poo bags in my pocket. Empty bags! I don’t walk about with dog poo in my pocket [laughs].

If you could go back in time, when would you go to and why?

I’d like to go to the medieval ages. I was always obsessed with castles and knights and, you know, all the battles that went on around that time. I’d like to have a real insight into how life would have been then.

When were you most starstruck?

It was one of the first Hollywood parties I’d ever been to, the big pre-oscar party that my agency throws. I remember walking in there, and there was Gerard Butler, Sean Penn, Robert Downey Jr, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie... Then my agent said, “Oh, David’s here,” and I turned around and there were David and Victoria Beckham. And that was the moment. Them as a couple is just everything to me, because I was obsessed with David Beckham as a footballer, and with the Spice Girls, too. I was too nervous to even be introduced.

What’s your favourite joke?

There was a joke about a dead bird in a cage, but I don’t remember the punchline. I just remember laughing. I just don’t remember jokes. It’s one of the things I really hate about myself.

What is your favourite word in the English language?

I love the word “quaint”. At school, I tried to impress girls by opening the dictionary and choosing a word each day, to throw into the mix and sound more intelligent than I was. And “quaint” was the first word I ever found. It was my first ‘posh’ word, I’ll call it. [laughs] And it’s my way of life now. I live a very quaint life.

JOURNEY’S END IS IN CINEMAS FROM 2 FEBRUARY