PINT OF MILK
Talking dairy products with the one-man Armie, Mr Hammer.
What was your role in your first-ever school play?
When I was living in the Cayman Islands, I did a nativity play and played Joseph. Sometimes you just come out of the gates swinging, I guess.
When in your life were you most starstruck? Probably the first time I ever met Tom Cruise. I know him now and we’re very friendly, but when that guy enters a room there’s an appreciable difference in the atmosphere. He changes the air in the room. It’s an amazing quality.
Have you ever sent fan mail?
If I really enjoy a performance by an actor I don’t know personally, I will sometimes reach out to them. I think most recently I emailed James Mcavoy to say I loved a performance of his. He replied! And I bumped into him not long after and he was very nice.
How much is a pint of milk?
Are we talking pounds or dollars? I would say $1.25? Is that a lot? I usually prefer a pint of Timothy Taylor, but milk will do.
Which film have you watched the most?
Cool Hand Luke, Apocalypse Now or The Matrix. Those are the only films I have downloaded onto my ipad, so when I’m somewhere without the internet they will be what I’ll watch. One of them will always fit my mood.
What’s the worst thing you’ve ever put in your mouth?
Durian fruit. It’s the worst. It tastes like putrid, rotten onions that have been sitting in the sun for a month. It’s horrible. The thing about it smelling awful but tasting great is a myth. I found it to taste exactly as bad as it smells.
Have you ever stolen anything from a hotel? Yes. The other day I was on my way home from a hotel and realised I had stolen a towel, which makes absolutely no sense because I have towels. What’s the last TV show you binged? Archer. It’s fantastic. It’s an animated TV show that’s irreverent and hilarious. I’m bingeing it right now. I’m working on a film that’s very intense, so this is great for turning off my brain.
When was the last time you were naked outdoors?
I have no aversion to being naked outdoors. Last time was at my house, before leaving for Montreal. I was in the sauna and got really hot so I had a naked walk around the garden to cool down. What is the worst smell in the world? I’m going to have to go back to durian. This is becoming a durian hit-piece.
What is the weirdest thing that scares you? I do not enjoy the presence of spiders. I’ve never had a particularly bad experience or a horrible bite, but I am just convinced that every single one of them is plotting to kill me.
What is your favourite animal?
Tigers. They’re just fucking formidable. Huge and incredibly strong and very graceful.
Who is the most famous person you could text right now?
Well, it’s gonna be Tom Cruise again. I don’t know when I last texted him, but I shot him an email over the holidays.
Do you have any tattoos?
I have one on my ring finger for my wife and one on my left inner wrist, which says my last name.
What is your earliest memory? Being in a little pedal car, in my greatgrandfather’s backyard.
If you wrote an autobiography, what would you call it?
As I’m saying this I realise it’s incredibly dumb. But: ‘Let’s Get Hammered’.
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