Goodfellas Chosen by Michael Palin

MICHAEL PALIN: “It would be that scene around the table in Goodfellas, where Joe Pesci shoots the waiter [Spider, played by Michael Imperioli]. That’s such an explosive scene. It’s so awful. It’s like an explosion, a human explosion. You see how anger works, and how devastatingly dangerous it can be.”

INT. BAR — NIGHT

Henry Hill (Ray Liotta) is laughing up a storm at a poker game with his pals, including Jimmy Conway (Robert De Niro) and Tommy Devito (Joe Pesci). He’s just won a hand.

HENRY: Goodbye, Jimmy!

We see a bandaged foot limp across the floor. It belongs to Spider, his first time back at work since Tommy put a bullet in his foot at the last poker game.

JIMMY: Spider, what’s your rush?

NICKY: Your credit’s no fucking good in here. Fuckin’ Dropalong Cassidy.

Spider brings the boys’ drinks. SPIDER: Here you go. HENRY: Thank you, Spider.

Tommy decides to bust Spider’s balls.

TOMMY: Hey, Spider, that bandage on your foot is bigger than your fuckin’ head. You know that?

Jimmy gives Spider a note from a wad of cash.

SPIDER: Thank you, Jimmy.

TOMMY: Next thing you know he’s gonna be coming in with one of these fuckin’ walkers. Even though you got that, you could dance. Give us a little couple of fuckin’ steps here, Spider, you fuckin’ bullshitter, you. Tell the truth, you’re looking for sympathy, is that it, sweetie?

Spider

snaps.

SPIDER: Why don’t you go fuck yourself, Tommy?

A moment’s silence, as they all process what Spider just said. Tommy sits back, bolt upright, all humour extinguished. After a second, Jimmy starts laughing.

JIMMY: Oh! Did I just fuckin’ hear right? Couldn’t believe what I just heard.

He peels off another note.

JIMMY: Hey, Spider, here. This is for you. Attaboy. I got respect for this kid. He’s got a lot of fuckin’ balls. Good for you. Don’t take no shit off nobody.

Tommy is staring at Spider, who is making more drinks by the bar. He doesn’t say a word.

JIMMY: He shoots him in the foot, he tells him to go fuck himself.

He nudges Tommy with his cash.

JIMMY: Tommy, you gonna let him get away with that? You gonna let this fuckin’ punk get away with that? What’s the matter with you? What’s the world coming to? Suddenly, Tommy pulls out his gun. He pumps six shots into the chest of Spider, who falls backwards against a bar stool.

TOMMY: That’s what the fuckin’ world is coming to. How d’ya like that? How’s that? Alright?

Jimmy

grabs the gun.

JIMMY: What’s the fuckin’ matter with you? What is the fuckin’ matter with you? Are you stupid or what? Tommy, I’m kidding with you. What the fuck are you doing, are you a fuckin’ sick maniac?

TOMMY: I don’t know if you’re kidding, what do you mean you’re kidding, you’re breaking my fuckin’ balls—

JIMMY: I’m fuckin’ kidding with you, you fuckin’ shoot the guy?

Henry is checking on Spider. HENRY: He’s dead.

JIMMY: Good shot. What do you want from me, I’m a good shot.