Lost In America
ADAM MCKAY: “The scene in Lost In America where Albert Brooks goes to Garry Marshall and says, ‘Can I have my money back? I’ll turn it into an ad campaign for you.’ I think it’s the funniest scene I’ve ever seen in any comedy ever. I bow down.”
INT. CASINO MANAGER’S OFFICE — NIGHT
David (Brooks), desperate to recoup the savings his wife has gambled away, is talking to the casino manager (Marshall) of The Desert Inn.
DAVID: Alright. I’m going to tell you this idea now and please be secretive, because if another hotel hears about this, they’ll take it. This is my business. As the boldest experiment in advertising history, you give us our money back.
MANAGER: I beg your pardon?
DAVID: Give us our money back. Think of the publicity. The Hilton hotel has these billboards all over Los Angeles where the winners of these slot machine jackpots, their faces are all over LA. And I know that works. I’ve seen people on corners look up and say, “Maybe I’ll go to the Hilton.” Well, you give us our money back! I don’t even know now because I’m just coming off the top of my head, but a visual where if we got a billboard and The Desert Inn handed us our nest egg back, this gives The Desert Inn really… Vegas is not associated with feeling.
MANAGER: Well. First of all, those people on the signs. They won. You lost.
DAVID: But that’s it. That’s... that’s... that’s the campaign!
MANAGER: What’s the campaign?
DAVID: You gave my wife and I our money back because you reviewed our situation and you realised that we dropped out of society and we weren’t just gamblers and we made a mistake, and you gave our money back. Do you know…? You wouldn’t get a room in this place for ten years.
MANAGER: Then everybody’ll want their money back. All the gamblers will say, “Hey! Go to the Desert Inn, get our money back!”
DAVID: Not gamblers! No, you keep all the money. It’s just that my wife and I aren’t gamblers. That’s what I’m saying. That’s the distinction. My wife and I represent the few people... and I’ll tell you something, there’s probably nobody else that’s ever going to come and have this, but it happens, and we’re probably we’re the only two. We represent the people who have taken the chance, and we made a mistake and then The Desert Inn corrects it and gives it back. There is a warm feeling here.
MANAGER: But you don’t think then everybody will want their money back?
DAVID: No! No, no, no, no, no. In the campaign you make a clear distinction between the bold, who would be my wife and I, and then all the other schmucks who come here to see Wayne Newton!
MANAGER: I like Wayne Newton.
DAVID: I said Wayne Newton?
MANAGER: Watch what you talk about. I heard you say, “Schmucks see Wayne Newton.” I like him! That makes me a schmuck?
DAVID: Oh no. No. Pfft. I’m stupid to use an entertainer as a dividing point. I just meant all the people who come here, carefree, on their way to see a show, and my wife and I, who, if you knew us, believe me, you would believe me.
MANAGER: You’re bold.
DAVID: Yes. Yes. So, what do you think?
MANAGER: I don’t think the sign’s gonna work and giving money
DAVID: The sign is wrong. The sign is wrong. A jingle. A television campaign. “The Desert Inn has heart. The Desert Inn has heart. The Desert Inn has heart.”
MANAGER: That’s enough. That’s enough.