PINT OF MILK
Joel Edgerton, a man who probably prefers his milk blue. Because he was Uncle Owen in Attack Of The Clones, you see.
What was your role in your first school play?
I became the king in a pre-school Easter pageant. I was originally cast as a pear-tree bearer and somehow took over the role of king when the king started crying. A sign of my early ambition.
When in your life were you most starstruck?
I’ll give you two. The first celebrity I ever saw was Kirk Cameron, from Growing Pains, at the London Hard Rock Café. It was the first time I’d seen anyone off my telly in real life. The next time I was really starstruck was when I met Sergey Bubka, world pole vaulting champion for many years. He has the massivest hands. I get very starstruck meeting sports people. I fancied myself as a pole vaulter as a child and used to fashion myself a pole out of a sapling tree. I’d stretch an elastic between two trees and drag my mattress out. Like the pros.
What’s the worst smell in the world?
Death. Did I bring the mood down? I’ll tell you another one, because I was surprised by how awful it smells: pissing on a campfire. Do not ever do it.
As a child, whose poster was on your wall?
Marilyn Monroe, James Dean and Elvis, without honestly having any idea of who they were. I guess that says a lot of about the indelible nature of their work. And next to them was Alf, the puppet alien.
How much is a pint of milk?
I’ve no idea. 80 pence?
What’s the worst thing you’ve ever put in your mouth?
By accident, in New York, I went to a zhuzhy gentlemen’s fitness club and after I showered, I grabbed a jar of green liquid, which I assumed was mouthwash. It was actually some kind of Old Spice-ish standard men’s aftershave. I chucked that right back. It was pretty horrible.
What one thing do you do better than anyone else you know?
Balance things on my nose. I can balance a chair, a guitar — anything, really. The smaller something is, the harder it is to balance. But yeah, I can balance most things. I’m like a seal, basically.
What is your earliest memory?
It’s a traumatic one, which I think is quite common. I remember my brother convincing me to put my finger inside the mouth of a dead fish, in Fiji, then closing it on my finger. I also remember separation anxiety from a young girl I met on a ski trip when I was four years old. I was bereft when our car drove off in one direction and hers went in the other. Her name was Claire.
What’s the weirdest place you’ve been sick?
I don’t know if it’s weird, but I’m going to say Bhutan. I got food poisoning and I’d given all my stomach-bug medication to my buddy, who was sick 24 hours earlier. Then I got sick and had no medication. I had 48 hours of — you can probably picture it. I thought it couldn’t get any worse, then got up to stagger to the bathroom with what feeble strength I had left and smashed my head into the concrete frame of the door.
Which movie have you seen more than any other?
Well, The Gift and Boy Erased, because I directed them and had to watch them every day. But in terms of other people’s, Indiana Jones. Raiders Of The Lost Ark. I’m fascinated by why children will watch the same movie over and over again, but adults don’t really consume movies in the same way.
On a scale of one to ten, how hairy is your arse?
Are you asking seriously? My butt is probably like a 2.5. Can I have a half?
What is your most irrational fear?
When it comes to the animal world, I’m afraid of spiders. But I feel like that’s somewhat rational. Probably my most irrational is abandonment. I have this fear of not being valued and therefore being abandoned. It’s probably why I’m an actor. It probably goes back to Claire. THE GREEN KNIGHT IS CINEMAS FROM 6 AUGUST