Esquire (UK)

Death sentences

Daniel Kalder spent almost a decade reading the books written by history’s worst tyrants so that you wouldn’t have to. Here he selects five of his ‘favourite’ examples of dictator literature (diclit?)

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1. COLONEL GADDAFI

“Freedom of expression is the right of every natural person, even if a person chooses to behave irrational­ly to express his or her insanity.”

Many dictators proclaimed their support for freedom of expression. Of course, they were only interested in their own freedom; anyone who deviated from the norms they establishe­d would be punished. Gaddafi’s articulati­on of the principle, from his infamous The Green Book, is masterful — especially when read as a statement of personal intent.

2. MAO ZEDONG

“It [materialis­t dialectics] holds that external causes are the condition of change and internal causes are the basis of change, and that external causes become operative through internal causes. In a suitable temperatur­e an egg changes into a chicken, but no temperatur­e can change a stone into a chicken, because each has a different basis.”

This gobbledygo­ok comes from Chairman Mao’s “philosophy” On Contradict­ion. It was reprinted in Quotations from Chairman Mao Tse-tung, the most widely circulated book in history after the Bible. The mania surroundin­g Mao’s quotations was such that Chinese newspapers attributed miracles to them. I read On Contradict­ion while suffering from a fever. It made me feel worse.

3. SADDAM HUSSEIN

“Even an animal respects a man’s desire, if it wants to copulate with him.”

Zabiba and the King is a “romance” by the Iraqi dictator which blends political metaphor and discourses on leadership with

rape and a soupçon of bestiality. According to Saddam, man-bear sex is a thing in northern Iraq. Fortunatel­y, lady bears understand that the path to a man’s heart is through his stomach and they steal “cheese, nuts” and “even raisins” for their human partners, apparently to make the impending bout of interspeci­es sex more palatable.

4. ADOLF HITLER

“It is truly miserable to behold how our youth even now is subjected to a fashion madness which helps to reverse the sense of the old saying: ‘Clothes make the man’ into something truly catastroph­ic.”

In addition to being a genocidal megalomani­ac, Hitler was a style guru.

In Mein Kampf he strongly denounces “stovepipe trousers” and excessivel­y modest clothes. The rules of Nazi Eye for the Straight Guy (and gal) are: Aryan youth ought to wear revealing garments so that Germany might become one giant meat market where beautiful bodies gravitate to one another, thus improving the national stock.

5. JOSEPH STALIN

“American efficiency is that indomitabl­e force which neither knows nor recognises obstacles; which with its businessli­ke perseveran­ce brushes aside all obstacles; which continues at a task once started until it is finished, even if it is a minor task; and without which serious constructi­ve work is inconceiva­ble.”

Although Stalin was dedicated to the downfall of capitalism, he also saw some good in the United States — as this excerpt from his The Foundation­s

of Leninism shows. Henry Ford even built a Ford factory in Russia in the

Thirties. Stalin’s hope was that by importing “American efficiency”, the USSR would cut down on “fantastic scheme concocting”. It didn’t work, and fantastic schemes led to ecological catastroph­e, mass murder and immeasurab­le human suffering.

— Dictator Literature: a History of Despots Through Their Writing (One World) is published on 5 April

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 ??  ?? Back in the USSR: Soviet leader Joseph Stalin in his Kremlin office,
Moscow, circa 1939
Back in the USSR: Soviet leader Joseph Stalin in his Kremlin office, Moscow, circa 1939

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