Sanctuary by the sea
tend towards Brighton when seeking a quick coastal fix. With drawn-out roadworks on the A21 and half-hearted rail options, Hastings doesn’t offer a particularly easy escape. But the slog is shrugged off when we realise that our digs are possibly the grandest in town.
The townhouse is set back from and above a quiet residential road in a terrace of three, so it’s not immediately obvious which it is until we catch the glint of a 1940s brass chandelier behind a bay window and housekeeper Kay opening the front door to welcome us.
After a demonstration of the hi-tech features — Sonos soundsystem, HD TV projector and Smeg range cooker — she leaves us to settle into the splendour. Previously broken up into five flats, the building’s DNA has been restored. We gravitate to the servants’ quarters on the ground floor, where the kitchen has reassuringly worn flagstones, an 18thcentury oak refectory table and antique dresser stocked with Poole pottery and Wedgwood crockery.ery. A profusion of pots and pans,ns, uten-utensils, a scullery aanndd double dishwasherher make entertainingng easy; easier still l would be to enlist caterers, one of many services offered. In summer, the garden — with r e c l a i m e dd scaffold table andd a fountain — would be a d r a ma t i c d i n i n gg spot, flanked by the soaringing stone and ferns of West Hill. Instead, we admire from within then settle in the dining room with its warm, red circular table, log burner, model ships and cabinets of curios. Beyond the bay window, the lights of the Old Town twinkle below. So far, so sesensible, but the party starts upstairs.up First, a door opens onto a timber-clad bathbathroom that recalls the shshoreline’s net huts. Next door, the sitting rooms run from seavview bay window to back, with custommade marbled velvet ss oo f a s (an acquired ttasaste), emerald green velvvelvet Knole sofa, leafggrereeenn zebra-print rugs, Georgian marble fireplaces, wingwing-back chchairs and drop-down projector TV screen. There are notions of Liberace in Palm Springs on acid, but not so outré as to offend.
There is a green theme in homage to the sea views that runs upstairs into the Admiral Suite. Here, another bay window is furnished with velvet armchairs that compete for attention with the kingsize green leather sleigh bed. That’s before I’ve opened the bathroom door onto a deep roll-top bath that overlooks the garden and West Hill. Neck-deep in suds, I’d be happy to spend the weekend here shrivelling to a prune.
While the Admiral Suite is the largest of the five bedrooms, taking up the entire second floor, the others each have their calling cards. The Captain’s Room has another roll-top set in a sea-facing bay window while its neighbour, the Cliff View, shares a pink mirror-tiled shower room, a Narnia-like door onto Studio 54 that is as startling as it is playful. On the top floor, the wood-panelled Crow’s Nest and Cabin Room feel like you’re below deck, the former with ship’s lanterns in a custom-made bunk bed, the latter with cutesy nautical needlepoints above the bed.
Throughout, the carefully assembled collections of curios make this feel like a lived-in home rather than a self-catering house. And with most positioned beyond the reach of tiny hands, the house is surprisingly child-friendly (though not ideal for crawlers or new walkers). Remember to bring a monitor — it’s a long way from the top of the house to the sitting and dining rooms.
The area
The house is in the heart of the Old Town. Hipster spots AG Hendy and Co — a study in utilitarian kitchen chic that also hosts a seafood restaurant at weekends, a Tudor period house rental and photographic workshops — and Dragon Bar, which has dec amped from Shoreditch, are on the doorstep. A highlight was lunch at Maggie’s Fish and Chips, in a fishing hut on the beach, where reservations are essential. Less revelatory was the pier, which aside from the views is little more than a dramatic boardwalk.
The House in Hastings, 57 Croft
Road, Hastings, East Sussex TN34 3HJ (08708 505468; houseinhastings.co. uk). Three-night weekend stays from £2,650 for up to 10 guests or £3,490 for a week; single week nights are available.