The royals’ state visit to Germany is more of a homecoming
THE Duke and Duchess of Cambridge arrived at the Brandenburg Gate yesterday and were greeted by Chancellor Merkel. She should have said, “Welcome home!”. Ever since 1914, we have tried to persuade ourselves that our royal family are as British as Yorkshire pudding, Aylesbury duck or Cornish clotted cream. But we all know, of course, that this is not the case.
There are some things that the Germans just happen to do better than anyone else. We all know that if you want to buy kitchen appliances, you would be mad not to buy German. Ice cream? Of course, buy Italian. Wine? Of course, New Zealand (where else?). But you would be insane to buy a dishwasher that is not rightly named Bosch. Likewise, most sensible people, if they wanted a car that actually worked, would buy German.
And, by a similar token, if it is a king or queen that you require — I am speaking of the comparatively short time since the year 800 — you need to go to the homeland or the Heimat when the Emperor Charlemagne, a German, began modern European civilisation. Royalties just happen to be among the commodities, like bland sausages and flowery white wine, that Germany produces. Charlemagne, the Habsburgs, the Hohenzollerns… All the European Royals apart from the aberration of the extinct French kings, are really Germans. Ours included.
When the Emperor of Germany, to whom, rather whimsically, we always refer as the Kaiser — the Emperor Wilhelm II — heard that his cousin George V was renaming the family the House of Windsor, he quipped: “So! From now on, I suppose, we shall look forward to performances of the Merry Wives of Saxe-Coburg!”
It was a good joke, and based on the simple truth that European royalties are German. Prince Philip, the best thing that ever happened to the royal family in the past 100 years, is a German. Prince Albert, the best thing to happen to Britain in the 19th century, was a German. It is devoutly to be hoped that someone has explained this to Wills and Kate as they return to the Heimat.
Our royal family are our most ancient link with Europe. Indeed, we should not have a link with Europe at all if it were not for them. Whatever the consequences of Brexit — and of course, all sensible people hope that the Brexit talks break down and we remain within the EU — one thing remains sure. Our dear Queen — who looks more and more like her purely German grandmother, Mary of Teck — is our head of state, and the socalled House of Windsor is really the House of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, a totally German family and one of the best things that ever happened to this country.