Do I really have to say it? Dressing up as a Nazi will make you an Instagram pariah
THE silver fox of sticky buns, Paul Hollywood, strikes me as the kind of man who can’t be alone in a room with a balloon without sticking it up his jumper. One of life’s silly fools, I was going to type “loveable” but didn’t — he might jam a delicious doughnut but dressing up as a Nazi is clearly in abhorrent taste.
A photograph has emerged of the celebrity master baker in a German a r my uniform with a swastika armband in a pub in Kent. “I am absolutely devastated if this caused offence to anyone,” says an aptly contrite Hollywood. “The picture was taken 14 years ago en route to a comedy TV shows-themed New Year’s Eve Party and a group of us dressed up as characters from the classic TV show ’Allo ’Allo!”
The party may have been 14 years ago but Nazis were considered A Bad Thing even then. Whether it’s Paul Hollywood, Prince Harry, or the stupid boy you went to school with in the costume, it’s never been that funny to dress up as a fascist. It’s always supremely thick and all that’s changed since that frosty night in December, when Hollywood goosestepped his way to the boozer, is that now your portrait will appear on Instagram (whether you’re a household name or not). When your boss sees it — and your boss will see it — you’ll get fired.
We all need to sharpen our decisionmaking in line with the prolifically documented times in which we live. Picture the scene — me recently at a wedding. The speeches were great, the drinks were less flowing, more spilling — and as part of the after-hours entertainment, next to the huge light box bearing the names of the happy couple, was a dressing-up trunk and a home-made photo booth.
Among the objects provided were the obligatory giant sunglasses, a metallic Van Halen wig (which looks totally great head-banging on Instagram through the glacial wonder of Rewind, by the way) … and a rasta hat complete with a full set of dreads. Did I put it on for a picture and start reeling off my best patois? No, because I’m not a complete knob. Imagine if that had turned up on social media? I’m not saying I’ve always been on the right side of history (I thought the Millennium Dome was an excellent idea), and there are plenty of things I regret doing, but at least they were mainly pre-social media.
Do I think Hollywood is a bad man? No, I don’t. Dressing up as a Nazi doesn’t mean you are one, and at the root of most humour lies something inappropriate, but one should at least strike the right note. We are living in a more sensitive decade than the last — and one with greater equality, which is no coincidence. Mistakes are as easily made but harder to forgive. What you’re reading here isn’t “just chip paper” (perhaps you think it should be). This comment is also on the internet — some iteration of it has been tweeted. There’s no escaping what you say or do any more — it follows you for eternity. The social media echo lasts forever and you don’t need to put a filter on the right judgment call, just make it.
There are plenty of things I regret doing, but at least they were mainly pre-social media