I look taller in the paper than on TV!

“YOU’RE . . . don’t tell me. It’ll come to me . . . that girl, off the telly . . . hammer, that’s it . . . Homes Under the Hammer.”

I smiled and blushed at the lady in a shop in Dundee.

“I don’t watch daytime TV,” says her pal. “Some of us are too busy for that. But I read you in the Tele.”

The first woman came back with: “Can’t say you look like you though. You kind of look like you do on the TV, but not really.”

“Shorter?” her pal asked.

“No, just a bit, well, different,” was the answer.

The woman at the counter chimed in: “I watch Hammer all the time but I don’t recognise you.

“I read the paper though – I thought you’d be taller.

“I know it’s just your head in the Tele, but you look like you’d be taller.”

Nothing like a three way conversation to make you laugh . . . then wonder if you’re a figment of your own imagination.

Martel with Homes Under the Hammer co-hosts Dion Dublin and Martin Roberts.