‘Victims of abuse are not to blame’

FOR many victims of domestic abuse, escaping is not as simple as just walking out the door, with some feeling as if they have nowhere to turn where they will be safe from their daily terror.

Whether it is financial dependence, psychological manipulation or just fear, many victims find themselves trapped in abusive relationships.

But a number of organisations are in place throughout Tayside to offer people a way out, if they feel they have no one they can turn to.

Heather WIlliams, manager of Dundee’s Women’s Rape and Sexual Abuse Charity (Wrasac), said even when women are able to leave, the risk doesn’t end there.

She said: “Leaving can be so hard and doesn’t guarantee abuse will end either but there is support available from a number of specialised organisations.

“It is hard and what makes it difficult for many women in these abusive relationships is the fact that often the relationships aren’t all bad and there are good times as well.

“These good times can often lead to the victim holding on to the hope that it’s not all bad and that hope can keep them there just as much as fear often does.

“There is also a lot of fear over leaving the relationship, women may have nowhere to go, or be financially dependent but again I would say whether it is ourselves, Dundee Women’s Aid, police, housing or benefits people there are always people there to talk through options with you as there will obviously be a lot of questions and concerns to go through.

“There is also the Scottish Domestic Abuse Helpline which is there 24/7.

“If you are in a controlling relationship, if there is violence, mental or emotional abuse or sexual violence then there is help out there and it’s finding what is best for you to do. That is where specialised agencies come in who can discuss what the best options are which can be really beneficial.

“The message I would send is you’re not to blame – it is not your fault and you don’t deserve to be treated like that.

“Often people who are abusive make victims think that it is their fault and they are responsible – no one who is living with that deserves that and nothing you have done justifies them behaving in that way.”