‘Divorce Day’: Good advice for couples at breaking point as split-ups surge

MORE couples are expected to seek legal advice for separation today – dubbed “Divorce Day” – than on any other day of the year.

The first working Monday of each year reputedly sees a spike in inquiries about divorce proceedings.

Some couples at breaking point will have decided to see Christmas through together for the sake of their families.

Others may have resolved to make a fresh start in the new year.

Dundee lawyer Jennifer Gallagher is among those expecting a surge in requests for separation advice – but she urged husbands and wives against making hasty decisions as they emerge from a difficult holiday season.

She said: “People who get in touch with us early in the new year have generally spent months – sometimes years – thinking about divorce, but fears of upsetting families, being alone or facing a challenging financial situation have put them off.

“While it is a happy time for many, relationships which are already fragile are more likely to buckle under the added pressure and expense that Christmas brings.

“It can be the breaking point for many – especially coming on top of the stresses that coronavirus continues to bring to all of our lives.”

Lindsays, where Ms Gallagher is a partner in the family law team, says that Divorce Day is often seen as a trigger for change following Christmas pressures which have built up throughout December and been compounded by bills coming in.

Since 2000 the number of divorces in Scotland has declined – but roughly in line with the number of marriages.

There were 7,883 divorces granted by Scotland’s civil courts during 2019-20 – the latest figures available from the Scottish Government. That’s almost a third of the number of marriages – 25,095 – in 2019.

Relationships charity Relate advises those considering whether their relationship is worth trying to save to:

Talk about your problems – be willing to understand yourself, listen to your partner and make changes;

Accept the “non-perfect” reality – no parents can give their children perfect childhoods but staying in a family where there is a lot of conflict or unhappiness isn’t ideal either;

Consider counselling – separating is a big decision which will impact on your life and your children’s lives and you will want to know you’ve done everything possible to avoid it.

But for those who do decide to go their separate ways, there are two divorce options in Scotland.

A DIY divorce, also called the simplified procedure, is when there are no children under 16 and there is agreement about money and property.

An ordinary divorce, either defended or undefended, is when paperwork submitted by the pursuer will be considered by a court.

In both cases irretrievable breakdown of the marriage must be proved or that one party is applying for a gender recognition certificate.

An irretrievable breakdown can be unreasonable behaviour, adultery or living separate lives for at least a year, or two years if one person doesn’t agree to the divorce.

More information about divorce procedure is available from Citizens Advice Scotland.

In many cases, a return to normal routine after the festive holidays can reduce the stress enough to allow couples to resolve their issues.

But Ms Gallagher said: “For some couples, separation and divorce will be the right thing.

“Whatever the situation, however, our experience is that cool heads are crucial at the beginning of what can be a very difficult process.

“It’s important not to make any hasty decisions when tensions are heightened and it can often be useful to talk to someone outwith the family.”