Mercedes-amg E63 S

A tiresomely tardy auto makes for uncomfortable progress in Comfort

AT FIRST I THOUGHT THE MUSCLE memory controlling my right leg was out of whack, or a misspent youth focused on getting down a black run as quickly as possible rather than as neatly as possible was beginning to show itself in hip and knee joints that no longer wanted to react as quickly or as precisely as my brain was telling them to. But then the decadesyounger Aston Parrott, evo’s staff photographer, mentioned it too: KT70 AWG’S nine-speed automatic gearbox is a bit slow and clumsy when left in Comfort mode.

It manifests itself in two distinct areas: when slowing to a stop in traffic and when you need to call upon a chunk of the V8’s torque to make progress, and in both scenarios the ’box is too slow to react. Not in a simple ‘Oh, that wasn’t quite as sharp as I was expecting’ delay, but a ‘Come on, where are you? We really need to be getting on with this and you’re faffing about waiting for an invite from HRH’ delay.

If you’re coasting to a stop in traffic and the vehicle in front starts to move again, as you come off the brake and apply some throttle the gearbox’s brain freezes before calculating that pulling away in fourth gear isn’t a good idea and that it needs to shuffle its way down the ratios. In the meantime you’ve gone nowhere, so you press the throttle a little harder, which instigates kickdown and then bam! Hello first gear. Hello flare of revs. And oh, everyone is looking at you.

Away from stop-start traffic, the downshift delay is equally frustrating, occurring when the opportunity to pass a slower vehicle presents itself. Unless you pull the small left-hand paddle to instigate the downchanges yourself there’s often enough of a delay in the gearbox’s reaction time that you abandon the move. It’s a peculiar characteristic, frustrating too, and it means you drive a car with an automatic gearbox like a manual, using the paddles.

Ramp up through the drive modes and the downshifts in auto are faultless, the right gear ready for you all the time. A search around a few forums (remember them?) suggests it’s a common issue, with many E63 S owners driving around it or accepting it.

Talking of issues, the car’s aggressive front geometry may save a tenth or two on a lap time but it results in a torturous crabbing noise from the front tyres when manoeuvring at low speeds and in cold ambient temperatures. And talking of tyres, a screw has taken up residence in one. Joy.

Date acquired November 2021

Total mileage 9987 Mileage this month 1011 Costs this month £263 (tyre) mpg this month 21.7