Time is Limited

The Impact of Losing a Loved One

More than twenty years on, I can still recall the point in time when the trajectory of my life changed. I woke in the middle of the night to the sound of the phone ringing downstairs. No-one answered. Seconds later, my dad’s mobile started to buzz. And at that moment, I knew. It was the hospice phoning to let us know that Mum had passed. I was just 19 years old.

As you might expect, losing a parent at such a pivotal age was impactful. I was halfway through my pharmacy degree, I had a part-time job on the weekends, and alongside the grief I was navigating, I now had a house to help manage. It was overwhelming. My dad hired me a life coach, and some of the first things we started working on were scheduling and prioritising my workload.

Living with Intention

We take for granted the moments we have, assuming there will always be more. The loss of a loved one, as I experienced with my mum’s passing, serves as a reminder of time’s finite nature.

The Covid-19 pandemic was a harsh wake-up call for many, and it was in 2021 that I faced another turning point. I chose to leave my employment (I was a Senior Director of Project Management at a global pharmaceutical manufacturer) and instead pursue my dream.

I now work as a time management coach and project management consultant, where I help small business owners ‘project manage their lives’ and get more time for the things that really matter. My approach combines the wisdom of traditional time management strategies with the transformative power of mindfulness. Through my workshops, membership programme and individual support, I have now helped hundreds of people change their relationship with time.

Shifting Perspectives

We can measure time in seconds, minutes, and hours - much to my delight as a scientist at heart - but our perception of time is unique and nuanced. Unlike clock time, the time you directly experience isn’t steady and constant. It’s continually being influenced and distorted by a huge variety of factors.

Our emotional state can influence time’s passing. Have you ever been engrossed in a book or a conversation, feeling uplifted and energised, and time seems to fly by? Or on the flip side, have you ever been on a long car journey on the motorway, feeling bored and time drags?

Novelty can also impact our time. When we’re young, we experience everything for the first time, but as we age and do things more routinely, there’s no surprising new information the brain needs to respond to. We judge time intervals to be longer when our memories for a certain period are denser. A period with relatively fewer memories will seem to pass quicker.

The stories that we tell ourselves also matter. When we repeatedly proclaim to the world that we’re busy and have no time, this is what we will create. Our brains look for evidence to validate our thinking.

Our actions align with this belief, leading to hurried decisions, fragmented attention, and a perpetual sense of rushing from one task to another.

When we start to understand these complexities, we can better navigate our relationship with time. One of the first things I do with my clients is to bring some awareness to time - the language they are using around time and how they are currently using their time through time tracking. In my next installment, I’ll be sharing some practical things you can implement to get more time for the things that matter.

Prioritising What Matters

In our fast-paced modern world, busyness is a badge of honour. I’ve found that slowing down, being mindful of how I use my time, and making a real effort to be present have reduced overwhelm, and life feels less chaotic. If we’re not intentional with our time, it can feel like it doesn’t exist.

I’ve been able to carve out time in my schedule for giving, which is one of my values. I volunteer at a local hospice, delivering mindfulness meditation sessions for outpatient visitors. I’m honoured to serve my community in this way, and I know that my mum would be proud.

By Sarah Stewart