BABIES AND BAUBLES
ADAM KAY, BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF THIS IS GOING TO HURT, TALKS TO US ABOUT HIS NEW BOOK, WHICH REVEALS THE REALITY OF WORKING AS A DOCTOR IN AN NHS HOSPITAL OVER CHRISTMAS
YOUR FIRST BOOK, THIS IS GOING TO HURT, FEATURED DIARY ENTRIES FROM YOUR JOB AS AN NHS JUNIOR DOCTOR. WHY DIDN’T THESE FESTIVE STORIES MAKE IT INTO THAT BOOK?
I kept a lot more diaries than the ones that made it into This Is Going To Hurt. I tried to publish a fair selection of what it means to be a junior doctor: the funny stories, the sad stories, the mundane and the high octane, the bureaucracy… The vast majority of my stories were entirely unsuitable – a lot of it was too disgusting and some of it involved celebrities, and obviously for legal reasons they didn’t go in. Many were Christmassy, because of the seven Christmases I was qualified, I worked for six of them. My editor pointed out that the book would be weirdly Christmassy if there were that many festive stories. So, there are a couple of Christmas stories in my first book, but a lot of them disappeared. I’m glad they did, because I managed to get a second book out of it.
DID YOU MIND WORKING OVER CHRISTMAS?
It ends up just being your normal. Missing Christmas is one piece of a slightly depressing jigsaw by which medicine takes a bit of a toll on your life. But it’s the job you signed up for, and you accept it.
YOU WORKED IN OBSTETRICS AND GYNAECOLOGY. DOES ANYTHING DIFFERENT HAPPEN IN THAT DEPARTMENT DURING THE FESTIVE SEASON?
There are no more babies born at Christmas than at other times of year. Babies don’t have a calendar, they don’t particularly care whether it’s 25 December or 25 March.
Other parts of the hospital get a lot busier. We all know about the winter health crisis. There are more bugs going around and there’s more ice on the ground so everyone can clatter to the floor and break their bones.
“Babies don’t have a calendar, they don’t care whether it’s 25 December or 25 March”
But one thing that is different is that people’s spirits are a lot higher. I didn’t hate working at Christmas. I’d have rather spent it at home, but it is quite fun being there [in the hospital] over Christmas.
WHAT’S THE ATMOSPHERE LIKE ON CHRISTMAS DAY?
It’s often jolly and there’s a lot more food on the ward, and the radio’s blasting out Slade. It can feel like a kind of home-from-home atmosphere. It can be so busy that you don’t even notice it’s Christmas. But at the same time, when things do go wrong – and it’s a hospital, so they do – the tragedy’s sort of magnified against this backdrop of jollity.
WHAT THINGS WOULD YOU ADVISE PEOPLE TO AVOID DOING, OR BE AWARE OF AT CHRISTMAS TIME, TO PREVENT A VISIT TO A&E?
Most of the things that I saw were unpreventable, like going into labour. It’s actually much more important to remember to seek medical attention. Don’t put things off because you’re worried there won’t be the doctors there, or even worse, because you don’t want to ‘bother’ the hospital. That’s what they’re there for.
The same rules apply if you have any worrying symptoms. Don’t wait for it to settle down until after Boxing Day. Do still go in if you need to.
The one thing that everyone can do, obviously, is stop sticking stuff inside yourself. I know you’ve got a week off, so you have a lot more time on your hands and there’s a lot of alcohol sloshing around, but that is an unnecessary use of NHS time. It does make for good anecdotes, and hopefully the occasionally funny entry in a book.
YOUR FIRST BOOK ENDED IN TRAGEDY, WHICH LED TO YOU LEAVING MEDICINE. WOULD YOU EVER BE TEMPTED TO GO BACK?
I think about this a lot. I chose a specialty in obstetrics and gynaecology, which meant that the bad days were too tough for me to deal with. The height of the highs – the highs are delivering babies, so you ended up with twice the number of patients you started with, which is a great batting average in any medical specialty – are set off with the depth of the lows. All you ever want is a healthy mum and a healthy baby, and that’s not always the case.
I think I would be making a mistake if I went back onto labour ward. That said, I do really miss it. I miss the reason that I went into the job in the first place, which was to help people. Since my first book came out, I’m aware that I’ve been able to make a bit of a difference on the outside, but I know I could do more. When the writing’s calmed down a bit and I’m no longer ‘flavour of the month’… obviously, I do want to go back. I don’t know if it’s in terms of policy, or in terms of teaching medical students or junior doctors, but I do miss it, and I do want to do something. But I’ve probably done my last caesarean.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO THOSE CONSIDERING ENTERING THE MEDICAL PROFESSION
I say that it’s the most wonderful job in the world, and it’s the most rewarding job in the world, and there’s honestly nothing like it.
But I also say that it’s job to go into with both of your eyes wide open. I get the occasional email from someone saying, “My child was going to do medicine and they read your book and now they don’t want to.”
The reply to that is, “Good, because if you’re going to be put off by that book, you will definitely be put off by the actual job.”
I think that my book should be a set text for people who want to do medicine, and not just for financial reasons, but because you do need to know what you’re getting into. ADAM KAY (@amateuradam)
Adam is an ex-NHS doctor, screenwriter, author and comedian. His first book, This Is Going To Hurt, has won multiple awards and sold over a million copies. Twas The Nightshift Before Christmas, Adam’s collection of festive diary entries, is out now.
Interviewed by BBC Science Focus editorial assistant Amy Barrett.