SIDE­LINES...

Fortean Times - - Strange Days -

MAR­SU­PIAL MEAL

Stunned golfer looked on while a 13ft (4m) python slith­ered onto the 17th hole of Par­adise Palms Golf Course north of Cairns, North Queens­land, on 10 De­cem­ber, where it con­sumed a wal­laby, which took half an hour. The ser­pent then “snuck back into the bush”. (Sydney) D.Tele­graph, 13 Dec 2016.

VEGETABLE FUSIL­LADE

In the first three months of 2017, jog­gers in Chel­tenham, Glouces­ter­shire, were be­ing at­tacked by a mys­tery yob throw­ing pota­toes, eggs, turnips, a mango and an av­o­cado at them from a car. “I was the vic­tim of a drive-by spud­ding,” said Toby Lewis. West­ern Daily Press, 31 Jan; West­ern Daily Press,10 Mar 2017.

WOMAN OF SUB­STANCE

Iman Ah­mad Ab­du­lati, 36, of Alexan­dria in Egypt, is thought to be the heav­i­est woman alive. She had a stroke at the age of 11, suf­fers from fluid re­ten­tion and has been bedrid­den for 25 years. She weighs 79 stone (502kg). Metro, 24 Oct 2016.

VIKING FISH BURIAL

Two gold­fish were given a flam­ing Viking burial long­ship send-off by pri­mary school­child­ren at Pap­dale School in Kirk­wall, Orkney. Bub­bles and Freddy were class pets but both died re­cently. The chil­dren read aloud their mem­o­ries of the fish be­fore the boat set sail. BBC News, 1 Mar 2017.

CRAB BITES YONI

A 28-year old Pasir Ris woman sun­bathing nude with two girl­friends at Changi Beach in Singapore (break­ing the law) had her vagina torn by a crab. Her friends, wor­ried that the crab’s pin­cers could have con­tained poi­son, took turns to suck out the ‘venom’. A ma­rine bi­ol­o­gist com­mented that the crab – likely to have been a horn-eyed ghost crab – prob­a­bly con­fused the woman’s gen­i­tals with an oys­ter, part of their nat­u­ral diet. Sun­day Reg­is­ter (Singapore), 24 May 2017.

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