THE WILDER SHORES OF LOVE

Fortean Times - - Strange Days -

Carol says she and the sta­tion have been very hap­pily wed

OB­SCURE OB­JECTS

Carol, 45, says she’s been smit­ten with Santa Fe sta­tion in Cal­i­for­nia since she was a young girl, and so de­cided to make her re­la­tion­ship with the place of­fi­cial. The nup­tials have not been of­fi­cially recog­nised by the gov­ern­ment, but Carol says she and the sta­tion tied the knot in late 2015, and they have been very hap­pily wed ever since. “When we got mar­ried, I stood there and I told her that I take it as my part­ner,” says Carol, who calls the sta­tion ‘Daidra’. “It was the hap­pi­est day of our lives.” She vis­its the sta­tion ev­ery day, trav­el­ling 45 min­utes by bus to visit her spouse. “When I get there I say hello to her – I then walk around the block cir­cling around her, try­ing not to let any­one no­tice I am talk­ing,” she says. “There is a pri­vate bit where two walls meet, I go there to touch her, which I do by lean­ing against her with my clothes on. When I’m touch­ing her, I feel as though it ac­tu­ally holds me and kisses me. I don’t have phys­i­cal sex with the sta­tion in pub­lic, I want to be re­spect­ful. I wouldn’t do that with a hu­man in pub­lic so why would I do it in this case?”

Carol iden­ti­fies as ‘Ob­jec­tum-Sex­ual’, a form of sex­u­al­ity fo­cused on spe­cific inan­i­mate ob­jects. The term was first coined by Eija-Ri­itta Ber­liner-Mauer, a Swedish woman who claimed to be “mar­ried” to the Ber­lin Wall from 1979 un­til her death in 2015 [ FT240:22]. In 2008 an Amer­i­can woman named Arika made head­lines af­ter “mar­ry­ing” the Eif­fel Tower. She later founded the or­gan­i­sa­tion OS In­ter­na­tionale, for oth­ers who iden­tify as Ob­jec­tumSex­ual. There are thought to be around 40 OS woman in the world, many of who also have Asperger’s Syn­drome. Ac­cord­ing to psy­chother­a­pist Jerry Brooker, OS women are mo­ti­vated by a need for con­trol. “Some­one who falls in love with ob­jects can con­trol that re­la­tion­ship on their own terms,” he told the mak­ers of a doc­u­men­tary on the sub­ject. “Their ob­jects will not let them down. That is ex­tremely at­trac­tive for a per­son who is oth­er­wise of­ten des­per­ately lonely.” tele­graph.co.uk, 26 May 2017. For “car lovers”, see FT73:24, 126:12, 240:22, 331:10, 337:8. We should also not for­get Carl Watkins, the man who had sex with pave­ments [ FT73:14, 93:15] and Ross Watt, whose ob­scure ob­ject of de­sire was a traf­fic cone [ FT166:12]

ON THE FENCE

A woman in North Austin, Texas, called po­lice on 8 March to re­port her neigh­bour “out­side her win­dow hav­ing sex with a fence”. She saw Eleodoro Estala, 32, uri­nat­ing on the side of the fence that sep­a­rates their prop­erty. When he saw her film­ing him with her cell phone, he took off his clothes, put his mouth on the chain link fence and stuck his tongue out, and then be­gan to “have sex with the fence”. When po­lice ar­rived, Estala ap­peared to be in­tox­i­cated. Austin Amer­i­canS­tates­man, 6 Mar 2017

LOST IN THE AMA­ZON

Kevin Chap­man, 33, of Ash­ford in Kent, dropped his trousers in Can­ter­bury city cen­tre last March and pre­tended to have intercourse with a blue Suzuki mo­tor­bike. He also pushed and kicked the bike. In Folke­stone mag­is­trates’ court he ad­mit­ted

drop­ping his trousers, but de­nied in­de­cent ex­po­sure and claimed he was pushed into the bike by tramps. Sun, 14 April 2017.

DOGGY STYLE

Carol Bowditch, 64, of Eve­don in Lin­colnshire was filmed hav­ing sex with three dif­fer­ent breeds of dogs: a St Bernard, a black labrador and an Al­sa­tian. “When the de­fen­dant was in­ter­viewed she ad­mit­ted she had pen­e­tra­tive sex with dogs,” Vic­to­ria Rose, pros­e­cut­ing, told Lin­coln Crown Court. “She ac­cepted it had taken place over sev­eral years. She was un­aware it was il­le­gal.” She was given a com­mu­nity or­der with 12 months su­per­vi­sion and a 16-week noc­tur­nal cur­few. Daniel Gal­loway, 65, who filmed her, was to be sen­tenced at a later date. Lin­colnshire Echo, 13 April 2017. For other cases of bes­tial­ity, some quite bizarre, see FT331:10, 337:8.

LOST IN THE AMA­ZON

In­ves­ti­gat­ing noises in his cat­tle barn on 18 March 2016, a farmer in Plum­bridge, Co Omagh, North­ern Ire­land, dis­cov­ered An­thony Mor­ris, 44, wear­ing a bal­a­clava, a vet’s rub­ber in­spec­tion glove and car­ry­ing a wooden brush shaft. The farmer and his brother pinned him down un­til po­lice ar­rived. While he was be­ing held, Mor­ris, who had a torch strapped to his head and was also car­ry­ing blue rope and a penknife, put on a for­eign ac­cent and said: “Me-me-stealear-tags. Me-me-lookat-tags.” But when po­lice ar­rived they un­masked Mor­ris, whom the farmer recog­nised be­cause he’d done work for him in the past. He was also wear­ing a body warmer stolen from the farmer’s lorry weeks ear­lier.

Dur­ing his trial, Mor­ris came up with a host of weird ex­cuses. Th­ese in­cluded: his bal­a­clava, made from the leg of old track­suit bot­toms, was a “face warmer” he had lifted by mis­take in­stead of a woollen cap; the wooden shaft was to help him keep his bal­ance be­cause med­i­ca­tion made him dizzy; the rub­ber glove was al­ready in the body warmer and he used it to clean fungi out of a wa­ter bar­rel; and he al­ways car­ries a penknife to open food for his 17 cats. He was orig­i­nally ques­tioned about cru­elty to an­i­mals but none of the cat­tle was in­jured. He blamed his pres­ence in the barn on a mys­tery man who Mor­ris said “forced” him to go to look at ear tags on the cat­tle be­cause he said the farmer had stolen three cows from him. Mor­ris said the un­named man who was “a blast from the past” had threat­ened his 14-year-old son with a gun. Mor­ris claimed to be to­tally blind in one eye and par­tially sighted in the other. He said that he can only see “black blobs” and was di­ag­nosed with lim­ited sight in 2005; nev­er­the­less, he had man­aged to keep rid­ing a mo­tor­bike. Belfast Tele­graph, 26 Mar 2013.

WIRED FOR SEX

Kurt Allen Jenk­ins, 56, was ar­rested in Boy­ton Beach, Florida, on 31 Oc­to­ber 2016. While parked near Cit­rus Gove Ele­men­tary School, he had re­port­edly “made sex­ual ad­vances” to a 44-year-old man walk­ing by, be­fore open­ing the pas­sen­ger door of his white Toy­ota so the man could climb in. The man de­clined the of­fer and snapped a pic­ture of Jenk­ins naked be­hind the wheel with wires at­tached to his gen­i­tals. Jenk­ins was later ar­rested for lewd be­hav­iour. Palm Beach (FL) Post, 2 Nov 2016.

CE­MENT­ING RE­LA­TIONS

John Steven, 38, turned up at Sharon Kerr’s flat in Glas­gow to have con­crete poured on him for a sex­ual thrill. He had heard she had ac­cess to a ce­ment truck and was ex­pect­ing to pay her £150. How­ever, he was am­bushed by Craig Dal­ton and Matthew Harrison, who taped his eyes and dis­cussed chop­ping him up with a ma­chete. He suf­fered a col­lapsed lung and slash wound in the at­tack. Sun, 9 Feb 2017.

LIKE MOTHER’S MILK

A re­gres­sion ther­a­pist who ma­nip­u­lated clients into suck­ing her breasts dur­ing ses­sions was jailed for four years. For­mer Chris­tian cult leader Vanessa Clark, 63, of New Yatt, Ox­ford­shire, told one woman she need “mummy’s milk” as she guided her mouth to her nip­ple. She mas­saged an­other vic­tim’s breasts un­til the client be­came sex­u­ally ex­cited. “Ms Clark re­as­sured her this was her ‘in­ner baby’ com­ing out and she ‘needed this’,” said pros­e­cu­tor Henry James. “Ms Clark would then mas­sage the woman’s foot be­fore push­ing her own foot into the vic­tim’s groin.” Clark ad­mit­ted six as­saults, car­ried out be­tween 1996 and 2001. She charged thou­sands of pounds for her “skin to skin” meth­ods. Metro, Sun, 11 Dec 2015.

WALK IN THE PARK

Martin Todd was walk­ing in Nine­springs Coun­try Park near Yeovil in Som­er­set on 26 Fe­bru­ary when, in the mid­dle of a foot­path, he came across a pair of syn­thetic breasts, some lin­gerie, a wig, an out­fit and a bot­tle of lu­bri­cant. “It was rather strange, I must ad­mit,” he said. Western Gazette, 9 Mar 2017.

TOP: Carol says she and Santa Fe sta­tion were wed in 2015, al­though the mar­riage has not been of­fi­cially recog­nised.

LEFT: Karl Allen Jenk­ins – wired up and ready for ac­tion.

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