SIDELINES...

FINDING YOURSELF

After drinking with friends in Bursa province, Turkey, Beyhan Mutulu, 50, wandered off into a forest and did not return. His worried wife and friends alerted local authorities and a search party set out into the forest, where Mutulu later bumped into them and decided to join in. He took part in the search for several hours before members of the party started calling out his name and he replied: “I am here!” When taken aside by a police officer for a statement he said: “Don’t punish me too harshly, officer. My father will kill me.” BBC News, 1 Oct 2021.

MAMMON

During a four-day telethon, a right-wing evangelical pastor claimed Jesus has not yet returned because people aren’t donating enough money to their churches, saying: “I honestly believe this – the reason why Jesus hasn’t come is because people are not giving the way God told them to give; when you understand this, you can speed up the time.” indy199.com, 27 Sept 2021.

REDUNDANT WIZARD

After 23 years on the council payroll, Ian Channell, 88, has been made redundant from his NZ$16,000 (£8,200) a year post as official wizard of the city of Christchurch, New Zealand. His job was to provide “acts of wizardry” and promote the city. He has performed rain dances, taken part in protests against the destruction of heritage buildings and been declared a living work of art by the New Zealand Art Gallery Directors Association. Now the city council has deemed that he no longer fits “the vibes” of the city, saying it is going in a more modern and diverse direction. “They are a bunch of bureaucrats who have no imagination,” said Mr Channell. BBC News, 15 Oct 2021.