SIDELINES...

STANDOFF INTERRUPTED

Florida police were in a tense standoff with an armed suspect, holed up on the roof of a house, when their attention was diverted by a speeding golf cart crashing through their perimeter, with the driver ignoring their demands to stop. When they finally caught the wayward cart, police found it was being driven by Jessica Smith, 28, who was completely naked and smelled strongly of alcohol. Police report that she “was assisted out and handcuffed” and charged with obstruction. thesmokinggun.com, 7 Sept 2021.

ALLIGATOR LESSON

Florida man William “Bubba” Hodge told police officers he was “teaching it a lesson” when they arrested him for stealing a live alligator from a miniature golf course and trying to throw it onto the roof of a cocktail lounge. Unimpressed, the police charged Hodge with possession and injury of an alligator, unarmed burglary of an occupied dwelling, theft and criminal mischief. D.Mirror, 24 Jul 2021.

TWO!

When golfer David Giles hit a hole-in-one at the Oaks Golf Club in York, his partners were amazed and excited, never having witnessed one before; then one of them, Chris Bunce, did it again with the next shot at the same hole. The odds against two consecutive holes-in-one are 17 million to one. Bunce said: “We were gobsmacked at what we’d done.” D.Mirror, 19 Aug 2021.

EVEN MORE BOGUS

While Bogus Social Workers have a long history, according to the Environment Agency Anglia’s Twitter account, there are now also Bogus Water Bailiffs. Apparently, people claiming to be water bailiffs have been trying to gain access to fisheries across Essex and the Agency is warning people to check their ID before admitting them. @ EnvAgencyAnglia, 8 Sept 2021.

DUNG CRIME

Police in central India started a massive manhunt after thieves stole more than 800kg (1,770lb) of cow dung from a storehouse in Dhurena village, valued at 1,600 rupees (£15). D.Telegraph, 24 Jun 2021.