Fortean Times

THE REVEREND’S REVIEW

FT’s resident man of the cloth REVEREND PETER LAWS dons his dog collar and faces the flicks that Church forgot!

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The perennial accusation that “Horror Films Exploit Women” sounds a bit old-hat these days. After all, the genre has a long tradition of female empowermen­t. There are three examples in this month’s new releases. My favourite is Jakob’s Wife, (Shudder Originals, Blu-ray, DVD and Digital), the story of Anne, a pastor’s spouse who has abandoned her ambitions of travel and adventure and now sits quietly in church listening to her husband preach; she cooks him breakfast and when he talks over her at parties, she doesn’t complain. Yet frustratio­n is bubbling under the surface, and half an hour of home-based aerobics isn’t enough to ease it. Liberation comes not with an affair (though she’s tempted), but when she’s attacked by a rat-toothed vampire. At first, she’s horrified, wondering why normal food holds no appeal, until she shoves her finger into a packet of seeping meat at the supermarke­t: one suck of the tip and she’s found her new fuel. She switches her frumpy church frock for vampish fashions and shades. She’s physically stronger too, and emotionall­y confident. She even stands up to Jakob, who, at least at first, is distressed by his middle-aged Christian wife revealing her sexual desires. If you think this sounds like Teen Wolf for grownups, it’s more complex than that, particular­ly in its treatment of Anne’s relationsh­ip with Jakob, which could have so easily been painted in black and white. We’re left with a funny, weird and charming tale of love and commitment – only with necks splitting open and explosions of blood. Barbara Crampton and Larry Fessenden make for a touchingly realistic married couple. They have their simmering rages for sure, but there’s love there, too.

Girl With a Straight Razor (Darkside Releasing, Blu-ray) is an ultra-low budget ‘thriller’ about a mother estranged from her child. She takes out her frustratio­ns by stalking and slashing women in the street. Director Chris Alexander describes his work as “elevated exploitati­on”, but some will think he’s elevated it so high that he’s pitched it right over their heads. Not a lot happens, apart from super-long takes of the ‘Girl’ sitting in a chair. In fact, the entire first three minutes is her putting lipstick on, in slow motion. It’s not that gory, the kills all feel the same, and it sometimes feels like a student film. Yet, if you’re up for a hypnotic, low budget, arthouse experience, it may well appeal, despite, or rather because of, all that.

Finally, we have Séance, (Shudder Originals, Blu-ray, DVD and Digital), about a schoolgirl clique stalked by a ghost and a killer at an Academy for Girls. The workaday story could have done with more scares, but flashes of clever cruelty do come through, like the threat of a long nail hammered into a knee cap. Talented writer-director Simon Barret pulls off his first feature with production panache, but one hopes his next effort will crank up the wildness of the story a little more.

A weird and funny tale of love and commitment with explosions of blood

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