James Richardson on moshing
The Football Italia presenter is no good at darts, but he absolutely loves Orville the Duck
Viewers of a certain age will always picture you basking in the sun outside some Florentine coffee shop, wearing a crisp Man From Del Monte suit while reading La Gazzetta dello Sport. We’re on the phone, so please tell us that’s what you’re doing now? We’re really asking the ‘What are you wearing’ question? OK, lace ensemble, it’s very comfortable. No, no. I’m just in black jeans and a shirt today, as we’ve been filming. It’s much less exotic than I used to dress. I wore some scary stuff – big jackets, questionable waistcoats. I’ve had quite a lot of coffee, though. If time’s tight, I go hard with an espresso. Surely you’re not always impeccable. When was the last time you were in a situation of utter squalor? Squalor? When we had Football Italia in Vienna for Euro 2008, we stayed in a flat for a month and I let myself go. The mess was total. The flat, which bizarrely belonged to Boney M’s stylist, needed re-doing after I moved out, as I left the windows open and there was a storm. There was six inches of water and broken glass throughout the place. Terrible. Your Wiki page claims that you have seen the band Jimmy Eat World live ‘over 25 times’. Can this possibly be true? Jimmy Hates World? No, I don’t know why this has happened. People have weird ideas about what to do with their free time, and somebody has put that one in. I’ve heard of the band but don’t think I’ve listened to them. A message to whoever put that on the page? Let’s have something a bit newer, eh? I have a pedestrian life, so let’s make it even more exciting. Have you ever entered a mosh pit? I have. Very much so. I have moshed. My last mosh would have been at Big Audio Dynamite’s final live gig, which was under the Westway somewhere. I had a jump around. You look a bit like Ciro Di Marzio off mafia show Gomorrah. How would you feel about ordering the execution of a rival? Scott Minto off Sky, perhaps? I don’t mind the comparison. I’ve been compared with Tintin, Gavin Peacock, The Hood off Thunderbirds, Inspector Montalbano... As for the execution, I’m not that kind of guy, but how traceable would it be...? Let’s move on. You share a birthday with the late, great Keith Harris… Are you saying Orville was just a puppet? We wouldn’t dare. Why do you think ventriloquism has fallen from fashion? I would say we had fewer options than previous generations in terms of what we watched. That’s possibly the issue, but I was a massive Orville fan… Julian Assange has been locked in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London. If you had to spend five years in an embassy, which would you plump for? I’ll go for Canada. They’re nice people, and you’d get a decent breakfast. They seemed quite pleasant in that film Argo. There’s a decent darts player called James Richardson. What’s your best score with three arrows? Oh, I’m useless I’m afraid. I’ve met the other James Richardson. It was slightly disconcerting because although he’s famous, I didn’t know much about him. We had a photo. But I’ve got no good score to tell you about – I’m appalling. What would your walk-on music be? The other James Richardson enters to Vindaloo because he loves curry… Can I come on to the bongs from News at Ten? Maybe the Inspector Montalbano theme tune, just to confuse people. Of course. Finally, what’s the oddest dream you’ve ever had? I have them all the time, but by morning I’ve forgotten them. I had one recently with Jose Mourinho, where I was trying to persuade him to be nicer to people. I’m not sure I succeeded. Good luck with that. Ta for chatting! No problem, thanks.
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“WHAT WOULD BE MY DARTS WALK ON MUSIC? CAN I COME ON TO THE BONGS FROM NEWS AT TEN?”