Garden view
Gardening is a danger sport, right up there with bobsledding, says Pam Richardson
“Gardening on the NHS? I’m mostly in A&E!” says columnist Pam Richardson
Fnatureresh air, exercise, communing with and combatting stress… just a few of the many compelling reasons to embrace gardening. It’s a pastime that clears your head and feeds your soul. And when the end results are veg, fruit and flowers, it’s a win-win. No surprise, then, that gardening is now being prescribed by doctors as therapy on the NHS. The healthcare professionals have found out what gardeners have long suspected: gardening is good for you. Well mostly…
If, like me, you are ultraenthusiastic but naturally clumsy, a bit of extra care may be prudent. To misquote the old proverb: there’s many a slip twixt barrow and tip! My first year as a professional gardener (in my late forties) was in a beautiful but remote part of the Highlands. The physically demanding work was completed thanks to daily muscle soaks and regular painkillers. It was a challenging site, with icy winters and tricky terrain and my inexperience led to some rookie mishaps.
In the space of a few months I had slapstick comedy down to a fine art. My edging shears cut through a cable (luckily not live)! I surfed, one-legged, down an entire flight of slippery wooden stairs, and got dragged to my knees by the huge petrol lawnmower, still hanging on grimly as it cut an impressive but irregular swathe. Visits to A&E might have been more frequent, but for the 100-mile round trip to Aberdeen hospital. My piece de resistance was a none-too-graceful ‘bobsleigh’ attempt downhill on a bag of grass cuttings, a feat made possible by a freak accident exacerbated by my wearing new varifocal lenses. Climbing a steep grassy incline, I misjudged my footing and tripped spectacularly. Somehow the laces of one boot knotted tightly round the hooks on the other. With my ankles firmly tied together, remaining upright was impossible – so a full frontal flop on the bag of grass cuttings was damage limitation. I just didn’t expect it to travel as far, or as fast, as it did… Shrieking with laughter and squealing with fright I landed in a heap on the granite rockery. Ouch.
Years later, having a suddenly excruciatingly painful knee examined in a London A&E department, the doctor asked if I played rugby. I was tempted to reply: “No Doc, but I did once bobsleigh a rockery…”
My knees are now well and truly nobbled, and no longer good for much; how I wish I’d used knee pads. You don’t know you’re wearing away cartilage until it’s gone!
So, after years of battling my clumsiness I have three golden rules for a healthy, happy, accident-free gardening experience:
If you don’t feel confident with a machine, don’t use it. Strimming holes in next door’s fence or decapitating their cat doesn’t make for good neighbourly relations. Gardening in sandals may be the pretty option, but nothing beats sensible shoes. Most mowers can’t tell the difference between toes and grass.
Never trust your new varifocals. Using them to negotiate steps or a slope is like judging distance in a fairground mirror, impossible! My best advice is this: if it hurts, you’ve already done too much! Taking a rest isn’t an option if you’re being paid to garden, but resting is one of the truly therapeutic parts of gardening – most doctors would agree.
Stay in the moment, and enjoy every single one of them. ✿
Having a painful knee examined in A&E, the doctor asked if I played rugby