DEREK CHADWICK.
The American model speaks to William J Connolly about the power of difference, being the victim of ‘gay shame’, and why he hopes discussing his sexuality publicly today will help support queer teens of tomorrow.
He’s the model-on-the-rise that’s ready to tell his truth in an exclusive interview. From storming the world with his signature Urban Outfitters lewk, the Insta-fave is coming up and coming out in a beautiful display of self-love and acceptance. But life hasn’t always been a bed of roses for the native New Yorker.
Unless you’ve been living on another planet for the last few years, it’s pretty much guaranteed that you’ve heard Derek Chadwick’s name before – or at least recognise those signature cheekbones. A model on the rise and an Instagram sensation with over 260,000 followers – we know you’re one, too! – the American-born fashion favourite and wannabe actor is a man in serious demand.
Having worked on campaigns for the likes of big-hitters Urban Outfitters, and even been in popular telly phenomenon Scream Queens, the native New Yorker went from zero to hero almost overnight when he was thrust into the spotlight and his dream of international stardom became a reality. Now a regular in the public eye (and totally at home there), the 23-year-old is the future.
But between the billboard images, Instalikes and frankly hysterical Twitter posts – @ DerekAChadwick for all the lolz – there’s still a lot we don’t know about the 90s jock. From his bold and addictive personality to the revelation of him wanting to break into the music world, Derek’s split between his public and private life has been a little extreme, and it’s something he’s determined to change.
In a tour across the United States of America from his home in the Hollywood Hills to our cover shoot in New York City, we meet Derek at the Ace Hotel New York under the thundering sunshine and hussle of the concrete jungle. But covering Gay Times isn’t just a nice shoot or publicity moment worthy of a place above the mantelpiece, but one of change. Derek might be coming up in the industry, but he’s also now coming out as well.
“I have a very private life, and because I haven’t been out, I’ve been nervous about people seeing my personality because I didn’t want them to jump to conclusions about me without knowing my whole story,” he reveals hesitantly – adding that he regularly censors the content he puts out to the world by fear of his sexuality being brought into the conversation before he’s ready to discuss it openly. “That’s what has made me cautious on social media to begin with – to reveal the real me.”
Speaking for the first time on record about his sexual identity, the charms and exuberant personality of Derek Chadwick soon becomes faint. The nervousness of a man with a great wealth of vulnerability to offer to the world, we let him lead for a moment.
“I would identify now as gay,” he reveals, adding context on how his journey to this point – and label – wasn’t so black and white as it seems today. A notion we know many of us can identify with.
“I think there maybe was a time in my life when I would question if I was bisexual. I had a girlfriend when I was in high school and .... ” Pausing to find the right words, the social pressures felt from the environment around are brought into conversation: “It’s hard to explain... I was maybe conforming to social norms, but I think I realised vaguely at school that I was gay, like officially. There was a point that I just knew.”
With the rise of social activism in 2018 and queer solidarity ever-more important, the trailblazing attitudes of other LGBTQ people it seems has rubbed off and helped him take the leap to speak out.
“It’s important to showcase the diversity in our community now. It’s important for young people to see that not everybody is the same,” he explains of LGBTQ oppression and conformity that grows ever thicker within society. Making a nod to the pressures social media can often put on young people, Derek continues: “People feel that if they
look a certain way or act a certain way they won’t be able to accomplish the goals they have. There should be a pre-setting that you can do whatever you want, but you can also be who you fully are, too – and still be successful.”
Sadly, such optimism and an inspired look at the world wasn’t shared by all in his family – and in particular his parents – when ‘gay shame’ became a hard reality for a just outed 18-year-old Derek.
“I felt it (‘gay shame’) on the most personal level that you could feel it because my parents were, at first, not very accepting of it (being gay) at all. I came out to my mom and step-dad, and I remember my mom saying that she thought I was straight, and that I would never be able to have sleepovers with any of my guy friends. Meanwhile, she didn’t have any idea of what I was doing away at school, so for her to say that when I came back for only a week, it was very discouraging.” He continues: “But as time went on, my parents did get more understanding of it because, like, what we see in the media as LGBTQ can be confusing.
“My parents grew up in Long Island. My mom has never been to California and has barley been to NYC. She doesn’t understand the world outside of her home, but whenever she watches the television and they’re talking about LGBTQ issues in any way, that’s what she believes.”
Noting that stereotypes and a lack of LGBTQ representation on screen played a large part in why he believes his parents struled – and did for a long time after – with him being gay, he pinpoints mainstream, cis-white news channels for being stuck in an era of anti-LGBTQ values: “It goes back to what people see and hear in the news, so it misleads what they think about the community as a whole.” But the thoughts of others wasn’t going to stop Derek living as his authentic self within certain circles. Determined to make his dream a reality from a young age, he secretly skipped class regularly and headed to New York City to chase the big auditions – and his dream. But instead of modelling, he was looking for something a little more Liza Minnelli than Hugo Boss.
“I was into theatre all the way up until 11th grade, and I literally said that there’s nothing else I wanted to do. I only wanted to be an actor. I would look up open casting calls in New York and I wouldn’t tell my mum or dad I would go. I would go to open casting things with Nickelodeon or anything I possibly could.” But as the rejections kept coming, it only made Derek even more determined to be successful in the performing arts. That was, until a certain social media account found him hooked. Enter: www dot instagram dot com.
“When brands started to reach out to me, that’s when I started to think that this was something
I could do – the modelling and photoshoots.” And he was right, as it wasn’t long until one of the biest breaks of his career soon became a reality when Urban Outfitters snatched a young Derek Chadwick from obscurity to cover model.
“I remember when Urban reached out to me in September and said, ‘We have this campaign for you that you’d be perfect for and that would great to showcase your personality a little bit’,” he smiles. “At first, I was a little hesitant to do it... They said I could showcase what I thought was really cool at the moment, and that was really powerful in the sense of having the freedom that made the process really authentic.
“It opened up to magazines wanting to work with me, and not just in the sense that I was a model, but a public figure. They never wanted to work with me as somebody that had a name. They always knew that I had a great personality and wanted to showcase that.”
Rightfully dismissing the suestion his coming out today could cause others with a closed mind to click the unfollow button, Derek is – as Mama Ru would say – paying those bitches no mind. Instead, he has a list of new prospects and conversations on the horizon.
“I think it’ll allow me to be more personable on social media. I’ll be able to post more on my stories and videos on Twitter,” he laughs – his rosey cheeks glistening. “It’ll allow me to stand up on the stage in front of the LGBTQ community and not feel so pressured about, ‘Oh my God, I wonder they think of me’, or, ‘I wonder what they’ll think of me’.”
Having spent years concerned with what people think, does he still care for the thoughts of others now? For somebody putting their life and vulnerability out to the world, not really. “To be honest, I really don’t care what people think about me. It helps you to not let negative comments affect the positive comments... I literally came from this small town in Long Island and am living now in Los Angeles. I want to show that you’re able to do anything you put your mind to. Sounds cheesy, but it’s the truth.”
Going back through Derek Chadwick’s life is like a difficult, but important, journey down memory lane for him. Like us all, he’s faced hurdles and the closed minds of many. But if you look through to the person without the gloss of social media that stands before us today, you find a young guy that’s finally come to terms with who he is, fully – and with the blessing of his entire family.
“I hadn’t been back to my home in a very long time. I went back to New York for this shoot and was nervous about what my mom would think of my hair being blonde now and how she would react to the news of the cover. I got off the train and she said, ‘Oh my God, your hair looks so different’. She was excited for me and all that’s going on, and I’m so grateful for that, because for so long, I didn’t have that from my mom. For her to really open and change her mind and change what she originally thought, it’s the most amazing thing ever!”
With a piercing smile, he adds: “I’ve made my parents happy by being who I am as a person, and them growing to love me for who I am.”
And while he’s sure to have a very proud mum for the foreseeable future, Derek’s focus remains on the next generation. That young queer teen, wherever they are in the world, looking for somebody like them.
“Coming out in this way allows me to use the privilege that I have to help other people who don’t have that. The opportunities that I’ve been given to have a voice. I feel like that was the main reason why I wanted to do this cover. I want to be the person that’s at those rallies and events advocating for people and anybody. I never felt that I could do that unless I did this, and I think this is a major way for people to see visible queer people.”
As his smile broadens, a noticeably freer and somewhat calmer Derek continues: “If I can just inspire one person, whoever that is, to be their true self or do something they were scared to do or didn’t feel 100% confident in, that would be the most rewarding part of all this. Helping that one person, they can then go on and hopefully help someone else that’s in the same situation as them, and it’ll keep going on and on. Being honest and being who you are is always the best way to live.”
We could not have put it better ourselves.