Men should be much more open about talking about their emotions
If humour helps us talk about serious stuff, Will Mellor is all in. He talks to GABRIELLE FAGAN N about grief, depression and staying positive
WILL Mellor is regaling me with nicknames for that most delicate part of male anatomy, as well as a few below-the-belt jokes for good measure. “I mean, no one ever calls them testicles, do they?” says the actor and father-of-two. “My mum calls them ‘orchies’ after the orchestra stalls! I mean, how strange is that?”
Will is a master of laddish humour, which he put to good use as Gaz in cult Noughties sitcom Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps, before going on to land roles in the likes of Line Of Duty and Broadchurch.
The jokes are part of a KP Nuts campaign – Will, 44, has teamed up with the brand to produce an online guide to help start conversations about testicular health and encourage men to ‘check their nuts’ regularly, as part of Movember.
Testicular cancer is one of the most commonly diagnosed cancers among young men, but it can be treated and there’s a 95% survival rate if it’s found early. KP Nuts research found nine-out-of-10 men (87%) think humour would be a good way to start a serious conversation about it.
“We hope jokes and humour break the ice and open up the chat about something which is vitally important,” says Will, who coincidentally played a character with testicular cancer – Jack Vincent in Casualty – back in the early Noughties.
“My character in Casualty was a classic case of a young man struggling to tell anyone or seek help. Sadly that’s still common, so it’s crucial we get it across to men that they should check themselves around once or twice a month. And if they, or their partners, notice something which doesn’t seem right or a change, then they should get checked by a doctor.
“The trouble is, in general, men are rubbish about talking about anything serious – football or any kind of sport or sex is fine, but they tend to just shy away from genitalia, mental health and real issues.”
He admits his own approach to dealing with life challenges has radically changed, after facing two family tragedies – the sudden death of his sister Joanne, 44, six years ago and the loss of his father, Bill, who died in April.
“I just collapsed after my sister died. I felt helpless. It was a sudden heart attack and I didn’t deal with it too well,” Will recalls.
“My sister’s loss actually went to my core, and for a good few months I was in a dark place.
“My family are my life and mean everything to me, but during that time I didn’t even want to be with or speak to them,” says Will, who has two children with his wife, dancer Michelle McSween.
“I was so bad that there were periods I couldn’t get out of bed, didn’t see the point in anything and was pretty horrible to be around.”
The turning point came when his wife told him she believed he was suffering from depression.
“Men especially don’t want to talk about things like that, or admit to them. They’d rather block them out or pretend nothing’s wrong. Thanks to Michelle, in the end, I had to face it,” Will says.
“I got through without any help – apart from amazing family support – but now I wouldn’t advise that for anyone else. I’d always say go and speak to somebody.”
Will’s father died just two weeks after a cancer diagnosis but this time, Will opened up about his feelings. He’s even shared them publicly on Two Pints With Will & Ralf, an online show and podcast inspired by the hit sitcom, where Will and fellow Two Pints actor Ralf Little share their trademark banter and put the world to rights over a few beers.
“I learned so much from what I went through over my sister, so this time with dad, I’m being open and honest about what I feel,” he says.
“The grief is overwhelming some days, while some days it’s not as bad. I opened up about what I was going through now, and what I suffered in the past, because mental health’s under so much pressure at the moment for so many.
“I hope it helps people realise it’s OK to say, ‘I’m struggling’ for whatever reason, and you shouldn’t have to put on a brave face and pretend you’re alright.
“It’s about being able to express yourself honestly, and to reach out to people who can help.
“Men should be much more open about talking about their emotions and be honest if they don’t feel right,” he adds. “That’s mental health and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
Will says he’s “coping day by day” since losing his dad, which he says was made worse by the difficult circumstances of the pandemic.
“Immediately when I heard the news about the cancer, I drove up to see him, but I could only go into the garden not the house, because of social distancing. I wasn’t allowed to hug him and that’s my biggest regret,” says Will, who grew up with four sisters in Bredbury, Greater Manchester.
“One of the last things dad actually said to me was, ‘If I got hold of you, I wouldn’t be able to let go’. That absolutely killed me. If I’d known then what I know now – that he’d die within two weeks of my seeing him – I’d have grabbed hold of him. I had no idea he’d pass so quickly and I’m still in shock.”
Will says he is now determined to make the most of every day, month and year he’s got.
He says: “It’s very tough but I comfort myself by thinking my dad lives on in me, and I’ve got to stay positive and make the most of my life because it can be all too short.”
My sister’s loss actually went to my core, and for a good few months I was in a dark place.
KP Nuts has partnered with Movember to launch an online guide to help men (and women) start conversations about testicular health. Visit kpnuts. com/movember
Will found it difficult to cope after the death of his sister