How to deal with pregnancy after suffering a miscarriage
SOPHIE KING
Midwife at preganancy & miscarriage charity Tommy’s
THERE were congratulations from around the globe for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex when they announced last week, they were expecting their second child.
In 2020 Meghan suffered a miscarriage, and opened up about her experiences in The New York Times. In a piece entitled ‘The Losses We Share’ she wrote: “I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.
“Hours later, I lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband’s hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears.”
According to the NHS, miscarriages are more common than many of us realise, with about one in eight known pregnancies ending in miscarriage.
Sophie King, midwife at pregnancy and miscarriage charity Tommy’s (tommys.org), says celebrating a new pregnancy might feel “bittersweet” for Harry and Meghan, as it can bring back memories of their previous loss. Children born after miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal death are often called ‘rainbow babies’ – representative of a rainbow after a storm, but Sophie says it’s important to recognise what you went through.
“Any expectant or new parent may struggle with anxiety, but it can be very hard for those who have lost babies to believe that won’t happen again, or they may feel guilty for being excited about a new arrival while grieving a sibling,” she explains.
Anyone who is pregnant after suffering a miscarriage will have a different experience, but these are some ways you can help ease potential feelings of anxiety...
Connect with others in your position
“Grappling with these issues can feel very lonely, but networks like Tommy’s Parenting After Loss Support Group on Facebook can help families connect and cope,” says Sophie.
Talk to your doctor
When you’re newly pregnant, you might feel nervous about suffering another miscarriage. “Healthcare professionals also offer support throughout the journey, such as extra scans for reassurance or talking therapy if parents are struggling at any point,” says Sophie.
Tommy’s says recurrent miscarriages are ‘very rare’, affecting 1% of people trying to conceive.
Focus on what makes you calm
“Focus on your physical and mental health, doing things you enjoy or find relaxing, says Sophie. “Grief, pregnancy and parenting are all very tiring, so take it a day at a time and be kind to yourself.”
Express your emotions
“Talk to someone, or release emotions into a journal, but don’t keep things in – reach out for support if you need it,” advises Sophie.
If you need support, you can contact midwives at Tommy’s on 0800 014 7800 Mon-Fri, 9am to 5pm, or email midwife@tommys.org
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