The Bridgend couple who became foster carers because they weren’t ready to stop being parents
IAN AND LYNDA SUGGITT SHARE THEIR FOSTERING STORY
THERE’S nothing more rewarding than caring for children and helping to guide them through life.
As parents, you expect your child to learn many things from you, but often it’s reversed and the parents can take away valuable life lessons from their children.
Even when they’re all grown up and living life independently, your time as a parent doesn’t have to stop - especially if you want to use the skills you learnt as a parent to help out vulnerable children who really need it.
That’s why Foster Wales Bridgend is encouraging older couples to consider making a real difference to a child’s life and start fostering, helping children to thrive in a safe and loving home.
Ian and Lynda Suggitt, who are originally from Teesside but moved to Bridgend in 2011, have been fostering children for nearly 10 years.
After raising five children between them, all of whom have now left home, they decided they wanted to keep on caring for children and helping them get the best possible start in life.
Their story hopes to inspire other couples and families to start their fostering journey today, as it can bring so many amazing rewards and experiences.
Natural carErs
Ian and Lynda have been married since
2014, and caring for people have always been paramount in their lives.
Lynda said: “I’ve always cared for someone. If it wasn’t my own children then it was my parents. For me, it’s very fulfilling.”
“When we moved to Wales, I began working in the care sector but it just didn’t give me the same satisfaction. My own children are now very independent, and sadly my parents have passed away. So fostering just seemed like the ideal opportunity.”
So, after a friend of theirs recommended they start fostering, Ian jumped on board right away. He said: “My background was always in Scouts. My two sons played ice hockey back at home and I used to coach the junior team up there so once they grew up, it was kind of a no-brainer that we’d keep on caring.”
They were keen to keep on providing a safe environment for vulnerable children to grow and learn in, after their own children had grown up.
Lynda explained: “I wasn’t ready to stop being a mother. I have this need to help people that are in a position where they can’t help themselves.”
“That’s why we opted for long-term fostering. There are so many pitfalls these days that children have to navigate through, and if we can help one child make that journey successfully, it’s a job well done.”
tragic backgrouNds
After completing their foster carer training, Ian and Lynda were able to start opening their home to children in desperate need of love and care.
But they wouldn’t have considered ever doing it if their own children were still young.
Lynda explained: “I’m not saying you treat your own children differently, but our foster children’s needs have just been so different.”
“You can’t deal with a child that’s suffered trauma in the same way that you’d deal with your own children, who are very secure and attached.”
Some of the children that have come into the couples’ care over the years have sadly suffered from terrible trauma and abandonment issues.
They’re currently caring for a baby boy, who has been with them since he was very young, and who suffered from severe trauma.
However, along with two 10 and 11-year-old brothers they’re also fostering, they hope to create a secure family environment that will help all of the children to heal and trust people again.
littlE wiNs
When children have grown up with trauma in their lives, it can be difficult for them to be comfortable around adults again and see some sort of future for themselves.
However, with the brothers that Ian and Lynda are fostering right now, they see the small steps as being the most important.
Ian explained: “We call them little wins. It could be something as small as saying thank you, or smiling when you’ve done something.”
“The younger brother really struggles with talking emotionally. For him to come and tell us that he’s sad - it’s taken him six years to be able to do that.”
It was especially difficult for the family during lockdown, where all of their normal routines were uprooted, but Ian and
Lynda helped the boys to build a new home-schooling routine that they thrived on.
Ian added: “Our youngest went from being 18 months behind on his reading, to 18 months ahead. The eldest even got accepted into Carol Vorderman’s online maths programme during lockdown which was amazing.”
And, now that restrictions are easing, the family is looking forward to going on their holidays next year - something that they like to plan together, to ensure the children know that they have a future with them.
growiNg togEthEr
If you really want to make a difference in a child’s life, Ian and Lynda can’t recommend fostering enough.
Lynda said: “Each child has their own tragic story and you wouldn’t want to live it as an adult. How can a child have to live through it, and feel so alone?”
“It’s an opportunity for us to turn it around for them, so they have the chance to live an amazing life.”
Ian added: “It’s a full-time thing and not something to take lightly. That’s why older couples make great foster parents, because you have the time to commit, and you’ve also got the skillset because you’ve already done it.”
After the children reach the age of 18, they then have the choice to stay with the foster family or move on to supported lodgings where they can live independently, but still get support when they need it.
Lynda said: “Even when they’re grown, they’re still part of the family.
You don’t just stop caring for someone after they’ve moved on.”
“We’ve learned so much from the children that have lived with us, as much as they’ve learned from us - probably more. They don’t realise what we get back from them.”
MakE a diffErENcE today
Ian and Lynda have found fostering to be such an incredibly rewarding experience, and they hope to continue doing it even after their current foster children have grown up and left.
If you have an interest in fostering,
Foster Wales Bridgend can help to provide you with all the training, information and support you need to start your journey and change a child’s life.
It’s part of 22 Welsh local authority fostering services, and the team is always on hand to answer any questions you might have.
Anyone can be a foster carer, not just married couples. Single people and members of the LGBTQ+ community are more than welcome to apply.
Foster Wales Bridgend is also hosting a meet and greet on Wednesday November 17, where you’ll be able to speak to team members and find out any information about fostering.
It’ll take place from 6:30pm-7:30pm at
The Pheasant, Pen-y-fai, CF31 4LY, and you can book a place by emailing fosterduty@bridgend.gov.uk. Please do not attend if you feel unwell or have Covid symptoms, for your safety and the safety of others.
For more information, visit the website www.bridgend.fosterwales.gov.wales