You couldn’t make this stuff up
mowing which means you get the job done much faster.” We nodded as he added. “And you can have one with a front or rear-wheeled drive.”
Frank was like a nodding dog whilst Christine and I tried to feign an interest.
“But then again, you’ve got your battery-powered mower which is environmentally friendly and also cordless.”
We were silent because we really didn’t know what else to ask.
“It also removes any chance of you mowing over the cord.” “True,” I repeated. “Very true.” “And then there’s your electric mower which is virtually silent, much lighter and cheaper to run.”
Christine was now texting on her mobile as she had no interest whatsoever in which type of mower her friend was being offered.
Frank, however, was trying desperately to keep up with the conversation due to the intermittent workings of his hearing aid as his colleague continued.
“And there’s no need for gas or oil which reduces the chance of a dangerous spillage.”
“Dangerous spillage?,” my pal whispered my ear.
“Janice, there’s little chance of another Exxon Valdez oil slick in your small back garden.”
My shoulders were shoogling as I attempted to show interest in Eddie’s confusing array of mowers. “Personally,” Eddie announced. “I wouldn’t be bothered mucking about with oil.”
Next minute Frank started heading in another direction. “Follow me ladies.” He had obviously misheard the conversation yet again. “The soil is out in the back yard.” “Frank,” Eddie was getting irate and shouted.
“Frank, why don’t you take your break?”
Frank was busy tapping his hearing aid.
“No problem Eddie, I’ll show the ladies the garden rakes.”
“Christine, I need to get out of here,” I pleaded with my pal.
But it wasn’t that easy because Eddie wanted to finish his spiel on lawn mowers.
“If you’ve only got a wee bit of grass then I think you should opt for a manual reel.”
“How do I feel?,” Frank replied in earnest.
“I feel fine Eddie,” his voice bellowed around the garden centre.
“But I seem to have a wee issue with my hearing aid.”
Christine was now leaning inside a giant plant pot in an attempt to hide the tears running down her face, and meanwhile I was struggling to get my words out without laughing. “Eddie.” “Eddie,” I puffed. “I’ve no….” sniff sniff. “I’ve no idea what a ……...” “Eddie, I’ve no idea what a manual reel is.”
I finally got the words out but Eddie was mystified as to what we found so funny.
“That’s a manual reel lawn mower,” he pointed to an old fashioned contraption the likes of which I hadn’t seen in years.
“Christine, what do you think of the manual reel mower?”
I asked my pal who had now decided that the whole situation was beyond her.
“Janice, its scorching outside and we should be at the beach never mind discussing the pros and cons of a self-propelled, battery, electric, oil, gas or manual real lawn mower.”
“You’re right stuff this,” I laughed.
“I’m never in the garden anyway!”