I don’t like pal’s boyfriend

MY best friend broke up with her boyfriend at the end of last year but now they’re getting back together. She dumped him when she found out he’d been seeing someone else, but now she wants to give him a second chance.

I really wish she wouldn’t, as I’ve never liked him. He also clearly doesn’t like me because I called him out whenever he treated her badly, which was a lot!

My friend knows how I feel about him and has asked me to promise not to make a scene when I see him again. She says she’s in love with him and wants to make it work this time, but if I make this promise, I’m not sure whether I’ll be able to keep it.

much you dislike and distrust this man, your friend has decided he’s the one for her. If you don’t give him another chance, you’ll probably hurt your friend and it may bring a friendship you clearly care about to an end.

People can change and, whilst like you, I’m not optimistic about the outcome, your friend has decided that she wants this relationship to work. As she’s investing so much time and effort in this man, you really need to be there for her.

Give her all the support you can; be charming to him, however much you may dislike and distrust him. Don’t ever try and get between them, either.

The chances are, at some point, things will go wrong - he may start playing around again or he may be unkind to her; who knows what he might do?

The important thing, though, is that you’ll still be there to help her pick up the pieces.

You don’t want to be the ex-friend she’s too embarrassed to call when she needs a shoulder to cry on. You may struggle but, if you really care for your friend (and it sounds like you do) then respect her wishes and give her all the support you can. THERE’S a guy at college I’ve really fallen for. We went out once but he stood me up on our second date and hasn’t spoken to me since.

I don’t know what I did wrong and I feel terrible as I really liked him and wanted to get to know him better. When he called to make the second date, he sounded really keen, so I couldn’t understand why he never turned up.

You might think I’m stupid for falling for someone so quickly, but there it is. I don’t understand how he can treat me like this.

t’s hard falling for someone who isn’t interested in you, but are you sure that’s what actually happened? Is it possible you misunderstood the arrangements for that second date and he thinks you stood him up?

Or could it be that he got last-minute nerves because he really did like you and, having failed to show, he’s now too embarrassed to say anything to you? Of course it could be that he’s a mean and spiteful person who goes around making dates with girls only to fail to show up to embarrass them.

If that’s the case, then face the fact that he’s not someone worth caring about and, even if it’s hard, try and move on.

Whatever the reason, the next time you see him, smile and say hello. If he did stand you up then he’ll think you aren’t bothered – which is the best way to treat him. If he was nervous, it may make it easier for him to approach you. If he thinks you stood him up, it will start to create a bridge between you and, after a while, you may be able to ask him what happened.