‘Playing Andy Cameron’s wife was like dating yer da’
It does seem the more minor the job, the more up themselves the director can be
THERE’S not much in life that gives me the heebie-jeebies, but the potential is always there with auditions and dates – maybe that’s why I seem to never have either!
I have though, got a date with a mate of mine. Maybe some of you will remember him as Jack the hairdresser in River City, who took a wee fancy to Gina and it landed them both in soapy bubble.
Well he was played by my pal John Comerford and he has invited me to be Amanda Holden to his Simon Cowell, at a talent competition called We’ve Got Talent at the Grand Ole Opry on June 14. I’ll let you know later how John and I get on as judges.
Before that though, we were both invited to give feedback to the contestants, in the first heat of their auditions,
They are all members of ‘dates-n-mates’, Scotland’s national dating and friendship agency, run by and for, people with learning disabilities and what a delightful and dedicated bunch they were.
This year is the 10-year anniversary for the Glasgow branch, and also the year they’ve landed as one of four finalists for the Evening Times’ Glasgow Community Champions Health and Wellbeing Awards – more about that later on in the paper.
When it comes to stuff like this I really want to give proper, useful feedback. Supportive without being a sook, genuine without putting folk on a downer. I do believe there is such a thing as the X-Factor, and it’s when a performance is really owned and generously given. These guys had this stuff in bucket loads. We were so entertained it was easy to champion them. I did, however, tell Anne she was crazy to sing Crazy and suggested she try Walking after Midnight – the song, that is, not the streets.
Auditions aren’t what they used to be. There used to be chat. When I auditioned for Looking after Jo-Jo, I begged the producers to let me read for the part of the other sister instead. They let me, and gave me the job. The fabulous producer John Temple, who cast me in High Road as Andy Cameron’s wife (which, admittedly, was like dating your da’) really worked with you on your character. It does seem the more minor the job, the more up themselves the director can be. One guy had me improvise out loud for him what my character might be thinking for a still photo in a kitchen brochure.
These days you are lucky if you even get seen. It’s all “self-tapes”, which means balancing your laptop on some cushions at the window and performing whilst squinting at the screen.
When you do get invited in to audition, often the guys who’ll decide are in London, which means standing while a camera literally looks you up and down. Also no one bothers to call you back anymore (unless of course they want you). I’m on a rant here. Then there’s the recall, when they’ve seen you three times and they’ve told you that you’re “pencilled in”, you then go out and buy that outfit only to be told they went for somebody else. That’s when you feel like “going for somebody”, but not in a good way.
And finally
YOU know you’re old when you’d rather go to work than pull a sickie and stay home.