THE SECRET GLASGOW TAXI DRIVER It can be all too easy to fall asleep at the wheel ... as I once found out

TALES FROM THE RANK: WHAT REALLY GOES ON INSIDE THOSE BLACK CABS

WELL, it’s been another week of tough news and headlines, so there’s nothing else for it – time for another funny tale from yesteryear. This latest offering is from one of my spells working nights. Any nightshift driver will know there’s no feeling like that final hire when you can finally head home for a much-needed kip.

On this particular night – rather, morning – I pulled up at Glasgow Central at 4am and picked up at the rank opposite the station.

“Scotstoun, driver!” was the demand, but in a nice way.

I asked where, he replied “Kingsway flats, mate” – and I thought to myself, best finish ever, as I lived in Yoker just a mile away.

So off we went and when I looked in my rear view mirror less than a minute into the journey my punter was already giving it the zzzzzzzz treatment!

Even better, I thought, a nice quiet journey home – or words to that effect.

Fifteen minutes later and I’m parked up at my place collecting my things, ready to lock up, when all of a sudden I heard a noise…

…I looked in the direction it came from, my taxi, and there it was – my punter was still fast asleep in the back of my cab!

Turns out I’d gone into complete autopilot and driven straight home, forgetting to stop at his place to drop him off.

“Oh my goodness,” I thought! This had never happened before and has never happened since.

So I turned off the meter, reversed out of my place, took the guy straight to the Kingsway flats where I woke him up on arrival.

As he came to, I told him I’d forgotten to put the meter on and just asked him to give me the usual fare, which he did – with a £2 tip thrown in. That covered the extra fuel!

“Have a good night, driver, sorry asleep.”

I could only laugh – so had

“Aye, nae bother pal!”

Stay safe, everyone.

I!

I must have fallen