CASE STUDY
(*Names have been changed to protect identities)
I HAD my first child when I was in my late teens and my youngest son, Greg, is still in primary school and lives with me at home.
Before coronavirus was around, he didn’t misbehave too much. During the first lockdown last year, his behaviour was a bit challenging, but nothing too out of the ordinary.
He has asthma, so I was being extra safe in following all the guidelines. It got to the point when a quick trip out to the shop would take me an hour and a half by the time I had been out, come back, sanitised anything I’d touched and had a shower. Looking back, I think that all these precautions I was taking may have worried him a bit, and could have been part of why his moods were up and down.
When the first lockdown was over and schools went back, his behaviour became quite challenging and he had a total meltdown. He wasn’t getting on with a few of his teachers, and he really did not want to go into school. His behaviour was difficult at home too. It was almost like our roles had switched – he was the boss.
Greg started to tell white lies and fibs to his classmates and teachers, even things like he had been hurt at home. It was an awful time.
My son had said to his teachers that he wanted to kill himself, but I now know that this was something that was being said by pupils around the school. It’s not something to make fun of, but it had become a bit of a ‘joke’ with some of his classmates.
The school phoned to check on us. At one point, they were looking at my son being referred to CAHMS, but he didn’t meet any of the criteria to be assessed. One of the social workers spoke to me about some of the services available through the NSPCC and the courses they offer to parents in need of some support. I didn’t even realise there was any help out there for people like me, so I was more than happy to go along with it.
My details were passed on to Kate, one of the practitioners from the NSPCC, and she got in touch and told me about the work that they do, and the Circle of Security Programme.
Doing the programme with the NSPCC has helped me to set out boundaries with my son. The course has really helped me with understanding his behaviour, and how I can set boundaries that work for the both of us.
My son’s behaviour has come on leaps and bounds since I started the virtual course every Tuesday. I now have a better understanding of why he might have been acting out.