All aboard the Theresa May train ... it’s full of sass!
THE good thing about politics is that none of it matters. Healthcare, the cost of living, immigration, transport, education, LGBTQ+ rights, the environment and all those other words in boring old manifestos are just wee, inconsequential subplots in the soap opera that is British politics.
Corruption, lies, incompetence, spin? All just a good laugh for us to gossip about at dinner parties.
We certainly haven’t struggled for conversational titbits over our M&S Platty Joobs platters chez Miller of late!
Who’s your favourite character? I Iike the funny Victorian chap with the double-barrelled name who opposes gay marriage. He just looks so awkward with his gangly frame and voting record that includes two attempts to repeal the Human Rights Act 1998!
Others like that silly man with messy hair who compares Muslim women in burqas to letter boxes, although (SPOILER ALERT!) in Monday’s episode 148 of his friends fell out with him!
Personally, I’m a fan of the sassy one who only likes foreigners if they’re a four-piece Swedish pop group.
Sophia Amoruso’s 2014 book Girlboss explained that the term applies to a woman “whose success is defined in opposition to the masculine business world in which she swims upstream”.
Our Dancing Kween Theresa perfectly embodies ‘Girlboss’, being both a successful woman in a field historically dominated by men and a girl who bossed thousands of immigrants into feeling unwelcome in her country.
As the future of her successor at 10 Downing Street hung in the balance on Monday night, our deportation diva was serving sideeye and turning up for the crucial vote in a ballgown! Yaaasss Girlboss kween slay! And yet, apparently not everyone is on board the Theresa train. For those who are somehow unconvinced, I’ve compiled a heartwarming reminder.
Here are five quirky Theresa
May moments, accompanied by five tweets posted this week about her sassiness. Best enjoyed with a cheeky G&T!
THE HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT
In 2012, home secretary Theresa May introduced the Hostile Environment Policy, explaining the following year that “where there is no risk of serious and irreversible harm, we can deport first and hear appeals later”.
An Institute for Public Policy Research report published in 2020 concluded that the Hostile Environment Policy “contributed to forcing many people into destitution, has helped to foster racism and discrimination, and has erroneously affected people with the legal right to live and work in the UK”.
Yvette Williams, coordinator of Justice 4 Grenfell, criticised May for choosing not to meet with survivors of the Grenfell Tower fire and suggested that she should take responsibility for the negative media portrayal of former Grenfell Tower residents, saying: “It was under your leadership at the Home Office at that this ‘hostile environment’ was created.”
“And now we go live to Theresa May”, above a picture of her in shades drinking a Gin & Tonic.
‘CITIZENS OF NOWHERE’
Following the Brexit referendum, Prime Minister Theresa May cemented the idea of Britain as an insular, backward nation by telling the Conservative party conference that “if you believe you are a citizen of the world, you are a citizen of nowhere”.
Labour MP Emily Thornberry saying “Damn right” above a tweet reading: “Emily Thornberry clearly quite impressed Theresa May turned up to vote in a ballgown”
‘GO HOME’ VANS
In 2013, May’s Home Office sent vans to six areas in London with significant ethnic minority populations. These vans featured advertisements reading “In the UK illegally? GO HOME OR FACE ARREST” alongside an image of handcuffs.
“I want to make sure I don’t miss Theresa May’s question this Wednesday at PMQs. The passive aggression dial will be turned up to 11 I feel”
THE WINDRUSH SCANDAL
The Windrush generation arrived in Britain from the Caribbean following the Second World War, and in 2018 there were at least 83 cases in which members of that generation were illegally deported from the United Kingdom.
Labour MP David Lammy called the crisis a “direct result of the Hostile Environment Policy introduced by Theresa May”. “OMG thought this was a joke, but isn’t this wonderful *laughing emoji*. (She has more of a sense of humour than I’d credited her with???)”
YARL’S WOOD ABUSE
During May’s time as home secretary, a 2015 Channel 4 investigation uncovered racist abuse of detainees at the Yarl’s Wood Immigration Removal Centre, with numerous allegations of sexual abuse having been reported in 2013.
According to a 2017 article, May’s Home Office “refused to report how many people were sexually abused or raped, in case such news harmed the ‘commercial interests’ of the private companies running it”. In 2014, May extended Serco’s contract to run Yarl’s Wood.
In 2015, shadow home secretary Yvette Cooper called out “statesanctioned abuse of women on the Home Secretary’s watch”.
A Queen Elizabeth parody account with 1.5 million followers tweeting: “Text from Theresa May: ‘PMSL *laughing emoji* LOLZ’.”
I’m a fan of the sassy one who only likes foreigners if they’re a four-piece Swedish pop group
WE SIMPLY HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO STAN(d back and watch as one of the most poisonous figures in recent British history has her reputation rehabilitated on the basis that she’s not quite as bad as the guy who replaced her)!