“I’d never considered the possibility of not being a pro golfer. Failing wasn’t an option”

Ihaven’t played competitively since the Scottish Championship in mid-october, so I thought I’d go back to the start of my professional journey for this month’s column.

I turned pro halfway through 2011 and played seven or eight events on the Challenge Tour through invites at the end of that year. I didn’t really do much of note, so I played the Europro Tour at the start of 2012. To be honest with you, I absolutely hated it. I’d gone from being quite a good amateur and playing some of the UK’S best courses to competing on layouts that, shall we say, weren’t quite up to the same standard.

I received an invite to the Allianz Open on the Challenge Tour in May, and managed to get myself in contention and see the job through. I was acutely aware of how much it meant in terms of not having to return to the Europro, which I think spurred me on.

That win helped secure my European Tour card for 2013, so it was a relatively quick journey to the main circuit. Failing was never an option for me – I’d never even considered the possibility of not being a professional golfer.

The next year, I came close to winning the Spanish Open and finished in a tie for 6th at Wentworth a few weeks later. I was only a couple of shots back, so I was closer to victory than maybe people think. That gave me a lot of confidence and it was nice to retain my card fairly comfortably.

I was making relatively steady progress and took things up a notch again in 2015. I played in The Open and the USPGA – although I think I was close to last at Whistling Straits, so Padraig Harrington should probably bear that in mind! I was going well at The Open, though, until dispatching one into the hotel on the Road Hole on Saturday!

I also broke into the world’s top 100 for the first time in 2015 and made it into a play-off at the Irish Open, so things were progressing in the right direction. That said, looking back, although the overall trend was up, there was quite a lot of volatility in my play and my direction. I think that was borne out in the rest of 2015 and 2016, when I finished 113th on the Race to Dubai.

But things improved in 2017 and I headed to Qatar in February 2018 with a feeling that I could finally trust my swing under pressure, having started work with a new coach that week. That was quite comforting, and I felt strangely confident all week and particularly on the Sunday – I thought I was going to win from the get-go.

When I got over the line, it was just relief, really, because it’s on your mind that perhaps people would have expected you to have won already. It definitely lifted a weight off my shoulders. The first win is always the hardest, but ironically when you do look back, you reflect that it was actually easier to win than you thought.

I’m sure coming through in Qatar made a difference later in the year when I found myself in a similar position at the British Masters. As 2018 went on, I got more and more comfortable in my own skin and with my game in particular – I felt like I’d built quite a strong level of resilience and robustness. That showed at Walton Heath, I think.

The Sunday was similar to Qatar in the sense it was essentially a two-horse race. I think that probably helped me. The weather was terrible but I played some good stuff and held Alexander Bjork at bay. That final round was probably the most aware I’ve ever been of myself as a competitor. I dug in pretty deep in tough conditions and showed a real desire to win. Holing that long putt on the 17th at Sawgrass during the final round of the 2019 Players was great, but that didn’t ignite the kind of competitive adrenaline within me that the British Masters did.

I’m certainly looking forward to experiencing that again. This year has been a bit of a shocker and I’m a bit frustrated with it all, but hopefully things will start to improve on and off the course over the coming months and I can re-establish myself in the world’s top 50 again.