THE DAY I JOINED THE ARCHERS
Listening to The Archers used to feel like a guilty pleasure, but these days it’s become cool. Bestselling author Wendy Holden grabbed a rare chance to go behind the scenes
Wendy Holden goes behind the scenes
My name is Wendy and I’m an Archers addict. A daily shot at 7pm and an overdose on Sundays are central to my wellbeing. I can’t recall a time when I didn’t listen to the programme, nor do I want to. A life without Brian and Jennifer, David and Ruth is simply not worth living.
I can’t remember what I did this morning, but certain episodes are hardwired into my brain. The notorious post-coital shower scene with Jolene and Sid Perks can make me blush to recall it even now. And poor Elizabeth’s eternal romantic travails have always had my sympathy. As for Brian’s explosive affair with tragic Irish temptress Siobhan, it was the supreme Archers moment – until, that was, when Helen and Rob Titchener took the number one spot.
‘Stab Night’ is what regulars on the many Archers message boards call the moment, just over a year ago, when Helen knifed abusive Rob. It was Archers addicts’ answer to the shooting of JFK – we all remember where we were when it happened.
‘Stab Night’ might have been bad news for Rob but it was good news for the The Archers, as its profile went into the
stratosphere. What used to be a guilty pleasure, or something older ladies listened to, was now hot, happening and setting the national agenda. Five million people now tune in regularly. ‘We’re like a new indie band,’ one of The Archers cast tells me. ‘Suddenly, everyone’s listening.’
Yes, you read right: an actual, real-life cast member told me that. In the actual Archers studio! Reader, through the auspices of Good Housekeeping I have been to Ambridge to meet The Archers and find out a few of its secrets. For a superfan like me, life holds no greater thrill.
The first secret I discovered was that this ‘everyday story of country folk’ is recorded, not in the countryside, but in a studio in a Birmingham shopping mall. It’s all glass, escalators, marble, and piped music with nary a cow of Ruth’s or pig of Tom’s in sight. But there is a sign by the reception desk: ‘Welcome To Ambridge. Please Drive Carefully Through The Village.’
I ‘drive’ carefully down the grey BBC corridors to the green room where actors relax between takes. Here I make a beeline for Louiza Patikas, the actress who plays Helen. Tanned and smiling, she looks nothing like the tense and tragic cheesemaker I have in my mind’s eye.
She tells me she loved working with her controlling radio husband Rob, played by Timothy Watson. ‘We had a
spark,’ she says. Louiza is quick to point out that many other Archers characters have had monumental storylines, but I’m pretty sure hers is the only one to have driven listeners to dig in their pockets – the ‘Rescue Helen Titchener’ campaign has raised more than £170,000 for the charity Refuge.
I’m thrilled to set foot in the studios where so many epic episodes have been recorded. The walls are lined with wood or sound-absorbing foam, and there are microphones everywhere. There’s an actual Aga with tea towels on the front, and helping it create the soundscape of many Ambridge kitchens are a toaster, cafetiere, teapot, bread board and kettle. To my delight, I discover that characters eat actual buttered toast – ‘the trick is never to bite off too much at once,’ says Daisy Badger, who plays Pip.
Watching, later, from the editing suite, I realise that the pouring, toasting and buttering is done by ‘spot effects’ operative Kath, the silent star of the show. For other sound effects, Liza Wallis has every imaginable noise at her fingertips, courtesy of a huge pre-recorded bank. This includes birds – which have to be seasonal, or listeners write in – cows, and even, once, spitting llamas. And I’m astonished to find out that when characters kiss they may be doing it for real – or kissing the back of their hand, depending on what they and the director decide.
Back in the green room I witness a read-through. To be surrounded by The Archers and holding an actual Archers script is utter heaven. Scripts are printed on special noise-free paper so the microphones won’t pick up any rustling, and every cast member is sent a hard copy through the post (email is thought too risky). Sitting among the cast, I feel ridiculously at home. It’s like being with a charming cult… One I never want to leave.
I can understand why the likes of Patricia Greene (celebrating her 60th year as Jill) and Charles Collingwood (who’s played Brian since the 1970s) stay on the programme for decades, even if being accosted in a supermarket is an occupational hazard. Everyone on The Archers loves everything about it – even the tune, which they say they never get fed up with (although there’s mild disagreement over whether the omnibus or daily version is best). ‘I want to be on the show for ever,’ Louiza Patikas says. ‘The team is fantastic, my colleagues are amazing. We’re like a family.’
For some, there’s no ‘like’ about it – they actually are a family. Charles Collingwood is married to Judy Bennett in real life. Spookily, Judy’s first husband was called Brian and Charles’ first wife was called Jennifer, the name of his long-suffering Archers spouse. Judy is also related to William ‘Wiggsy’ Troughton, who plays Tom, and whose real-life father, David Troughton, is also his father in The Archers, playing accident-prone farmer Tony. And get this – snooty Miranda and slimy Justin Elliot are married in real life (actors Simon Williams and Lucy Fleming).
The cast bid me a cheery goodbye as I leave the enchanted world of Ambridge. Returning through the shopping mall feels like coming back through the wardrobe from Narnia – Narnia with cows and llamas.
That night, tuning in is a strange experience. Having seen the studio, met the cast, and realised the enormous extent to which sound effects make the show, my previous belief that The Archers actually live in my radio has dimmed just a little. But it doesn’t last long… By the time the next omnibus comes round, I’m as immersed as ever. Long live Ambridge!
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