‘Love, like flowers, blooms in the most unexpected places’
Heartbroken and grieving, Alexis Coles-barrasso found sanctuary in her garden. But it was more than just flowers that blossomed…
Thirteen years ago, I was at a point in my life where everything seemed to happen at once. I had a successful career in PR, and when the company changed location, I moved from London to Rutland with my daughter Amelie and her dad, Dan.
Dan and I decided to get married, but two weeks before the wedding, my mum died unexpectedly, followed by my dad just 18 weeks later. I was devastated, but I didn’t give myself time to grieve. I was working full time, looking after a one year old and was pregnant again. My relationship with Dan became increasingly strained, and our marriage broke down soon after our younger daughter India was born.
Heartbroken, I retreated into my shell. I didn’t want to go out and face the world. The grief I’d suppressed for so long finally surfaced, and I struggled to keep everything going – to be the single mum, career woman, and confident, independent person I felt everyone expected me to be.
During that time, my garden became my sanctuary. I’d sit out there and watch the girls playing. Seeing the sunshine over the countryside reminded me my life was mine alone. It was up to me to find happiness. I knew I needed a better work-life balance, so I made the decision to work part time from home so I could look after the girls.
The only thing I struggled with was how to work the lawnmower. Frustrated, I asked a local man, Mark, to help me out. An ex-soldier, he was employed by a nearby stately home as the estate gardener, and he agreed to pop over in his lunch break every so often to mow my lawn.
I’d make him a cup of tea, and we’d chat about life. He had two older daughters with his first wife, and understood what I was going through. Mark asked me out a few times, but I said no – it felt too soon. My friends all commented on my attractive gardener, but I laughed it off. In my mind, we were good friends, nothing more.
When the girls’ school hosted a fundraising ball, the other mums insisted I should bring someone along. I tentatively asked Mark whether he’d come with me, and he said yes. Before the event, we popped in for a drink at a local pub, and our conversation felt so easy and natural. That was the start of our relationship.
Two years ago, Mark moved in. Since then, we’ve transformed the garden into an exciting, contemporary space. Mark has even created little patches for the girls, and they love spending time out there with him, watching their vegetables grow.
I feel very lucky that I’ve found Mark, and have remained close to Dan and his new wife and son. We even go on holiday together. Mark and I are now engaged, and looking forward to a long and happy future. Love, like flowers, can bloom in the most unexpected places.
My GARDEN became my SANCTUARY, and reminded me MY LIFE WAS MINE alone