‘Last night I went stark raving mad...’

David’s diaries chart his life – from being a drug addict through falling in love and becoming a successful writer and broadcaster. Here are some entries from his book of diaries, Theft By Finding

18 March 1980

RALEIGH I have just taken amphetamines stolen from a drugstore. They’re given to hyperactive children to make them even more hyperactive so they’ll get tired and pass out, giving their parents a rest. Last night I went stark raving mad. I had a list of calls to make and used the same two dimes for five hours before coming to the conclusion that all three friends were together having a wonderful time and talking about me. I paced, made messes, finally cooked pork chops, and tried to read magazines.

3 March 1991

NEW YORK I have to get these sculptures off to the Renaissance Society, and I asked Hugh over to take a look and advise me on finishes. He is very handsome, a hard worker, thoughtful. His dad was a diplomat so the family left Kentucky when Hugh was a kid and lived in Ethiopia and Somalia and the Congo. He lived in Paris for five years after graduating from college and is here now, painting. Hugh looked at the sculptures and said, ‘Just oil them.’

14 November 1991

RALEIGH Mom died last night, suddenly, of pneumonia brought on by her chemotherapy. Amy called to tell me, and now we’re all in Raleigh. Dad gave us the option of seeing her laid out at the funeral home, but I was afraid to go. We all were. How strange to be in her house and see her things – the half-worked crossword puzzle, her mail and stockings. She didn’t expect to die yesterday, did she? When it happened, Hugh and I were in our kitchen in New York. He was making manicotti pasta and talking about a wooden chicken he’d bought when I got socked by the weirdest feeling. I thought that Hugh was going to die, and I must have said something because he accused me of being dramatic. I can’t believe this has happened.

29 December 2001

PARIS Hugh made me a belated birthday cake, decorated with the candles Patsy gave us for Christmas. When told to make a wish, I settled back in my chair, realising I should have given it some prior thought. One option was an apartment in London, but in the end I wished for the opposite: the absence of things. Over the past few years, I’ve fallen deeper into the luxury pit. I used to get pleasure from sitting at the pancake house with a new library book, but now I mainly buy things and work crossword puzzles. In my 20s and early 30s, I was able to disguise my shallowness, but now it’s written all over my shopping bags.