BARBARA TAYLOR BRADFORD

‘The baby who gave me fresh hope’

I know I am blessed to have such a happy relationship. Bob and I have been married for 54 years and love one another deeply. We have made a good life together. We would like to have been parents, but I had two miscarriages in my 30s and never became pregnant again. It was very disappointing, but we have supported one another through the years and we both are very passionate about what we do.

It has helped that we’ve been involved with our friends’ children. We also have our wonderful goddaughter, Catalina, who spent every summer with us when she was growing up.

Her father was divorced and travelled around the world for business, so during the holidays Catalina came from her home in Madrid and spent two months with us in New York. She would come back for Thanksgiving and Christmas as well.

She came to us from the age of 11 until she was 24, so Bob and I watched her grow up. At the weekends we would travel to our beautiful house in Connecticut, which she loved. We never went anywhere without her. If Bob and I were invited out by friends then we always said that she had to come too. She knows a lot of our friends and they all love her.

I never tried to tell her what to do, because I am not made that way. But she would sometimes ask me, ‘Why do you do this?’ and I would explain.

I think the best kind of influence is to let someone watch what you do and question why you do it rather than laying down the law. We met her boyfriends, but I never interfered with them, either. I was just glad when she married and found happiness with her husband, Alberto.

Then, last January, Catalina became a mother for the first time, and was desperate for us to meet her newborn daughter. Bob and I were in London and flew to Madrid to see them. ‘This is your grandchild,’ she said when she gave me the little bundle.

I felt very excited. When you see a newborn baby, you think, ‘Isn’t it amazing?’ You see the tiny little nails and tiny little feet and babies have a lovely smell – a powdery, fresh smell. The baby is called Catalina, like her mother, so my name for her is Princess Mini Cat. She is quite a beautiful baby, with dark blue eyes and little fat legs. I am always looking for baby outfits to send her and lots of cuddly toys, too.

I have always refused to be defined by the fact that I am not a mother. I don’t believe in regrets – I would rather celebrate good things in my life. At the age of 84 I am still doing what I love – telling stories – and I am about to publish my 32nd novel. But this baby has undoubtedly given me fresh hope.

My view of the world changed after 9/11 happened. It is a rotten place now, and it has never been so cruel and dangerous. But when I look at this baby, this bit of lovely warm flesh, she is proof of life – and we must celebrate that.