‘I haven’t got time to mess about’

Becoming a mother later in life was transformational for actress and author Celia Imrie, whose latest novel Sail Away is out now

Motherhood made me less self-absorbed. As an actress, you think about yourself all the time, and having a child takes that away from you. My son, Angus, is 23, but I still constantly worry – I don’t think you ever stop worrying as a parent. You have to learn to shut up about it, because if you nag them, it’s annoying. But I’m grateful every day that I had a child just in time.

It’s terribly important to have a laugh. The friends I value the most are the ones who make me laugh, and make me see the stupidity of my own failings. Especially as time goes on, people can get awfully wound up about the serious things in life, so it’s so important to have fun friends. I’ve had mine for over half my life, and it’s lovely.

Love makes the world more colourful. I’m still learning about it every day. I don’t think I necessarily know any more about love than I knew when I was five years old. It’s the most natural emotion, and long may we love freely and not have to start not to love things, because that can tie you down terribly and make the world black and white as opposed to colourful.

Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness. That’s not to say that you can’t share and exchange [in a relationship], the key word is rely. You can give it to each other, but you can’t expect them to do it all.

Ask for what you want. As I’ve got older, I’ve become more daring in asking for things. If there’s a chance of something, why not? You can’t expect people to be mind readers. I wouldn’t be averse to asking if there was a part for me in something, which I never would have done years ago. I wish I’d done it earlier.

Make the most of life – it’s precious. I’m grabbing hold of every second of it. There’s so much I want to do, and I want to fit in all the things I want to do and places I want to visit. Without being dramatic, I know I’m running out of time. My darling mother used to say the two saddest words in the dictionary are ‘too late’. I’ve got so much more to do!