Emilia on gratitude and love

Actor Emilia Fox opens up to Nathalie Whittle about finding inner calm, her tattoo regret… and why her new romance has been worth the wait

For Emilia Fox, life couldn’t be much better right now – and it shows. She arrives at our cover shoot with the rosy glow of someone enjoying both professional and personal triumphs. After all, she’s already taking 2020 by storm, with a role as Valerie Profumo in BBC One’s The Trial Of Christine Keeler, the highly anticipated retelling of the Profumo Affair. She’s also stepping back into the shoes of forensic pathologist Dr Nikki Alexander in the long-running crime drama Silent Witness – her 16th year and counting!

But there’s another reason why her life looks bright. After a three-year marriage to actor Jared Harris and relationships with actor and activist Jeremy Gilley (father of her daughter, Rose) and celebrity chef Marco Pierre White, she has found happiness with talent agent Luc Chaudhary. ‘It’s lovely being able to enjoy this feeling again,’ she says. Now 45, she lives with Rose, nine, in London. Here, she tells how it’s all fallen into place.

How are you enjoying life in your 40s?

I’m loving it! I’m enjoying breaking my own rules and trying new things.

I like the idea of challenging your own preconceptions about what you’re capable of – I’ve really started doing that recently.

So you feel good about getting older?

Absolutely. Maybe it’s because I’ve been around dead bodies for so long on Silent Witness, but I see it as a privilege. Experience can make you a richer person in many ways, and it makes you feel more settled with who you are. I didn’t expect to feel more comfortable in my 40s than I ever have before, but I do.

Can you tell us about some of the challenges you’ve conquered?

A decade ago, if you’d have told me I’d leap out of a helicopter on the reality TV show Bear Grylls: Mission Survive, I wouldn’t have believed you! It was absolutely terrifying. But the point of doing that show was to go, ‘I can do that.’ I was always in my comfort zone before, hiding behind characters I played on screen, but this was just me being me, trying something new. My philosophy now is that I don’t want to regret not having given something a go.

Do you have any regrets?

There is one thing. Some years ago, I got a heart tattoo on the inside of one of my fingers. Why? Because I had terrible jetlag! I’d just arrived in LA with my friend Kate, who wanted to get one

almost as soon as we got off the plane. Somehow, she roped me into getting one, too, and as soon as the guy put the needle next to my finger, I sprung into the air and screamed, ‘Stop it, don’t do that again!’

You won’t be getting another tattoo, then?

Absolutely not! It was so extraordinarily painful – I wouldn’t willingly put myself through that ever again.

You’ve met a new man recently…

Yes, I’m in a very happy place right now. I’ve had some great years being single and feeling comfortable with that – it gave me a good chance to really see where my own happiness came from, both within myself and being with friends. But it’s fun dating again and finding someone who you really enjoy being with. I love romance. I’m a great believer in second, third – even fourth chances at love!

Why have you started dating again now?

It’s a combination of Rose getting a bit older and me finding the right person. Because of the commitments that I had before, I wasn’t able to include anyone else. I felt like I needed to give my time and energy to bringing up Rose and then being able to go to work. And it wouldn’t have been right or fair to include anyone else at that time. And now, because Rose has more independence, it feels like the right time. I’m able to enjoy that feeling again.

Would you get married again?

I think marriage is a wonderful thing, but I don’t know if I’d do it again. For me, it’s more about the relationship and the love and the friendship and the fun that you have between you, more than it is about getting married.

What do you wish you’d known about relationships when you were younger?

Looking back on my past relationships, I wish I’d talked about them more with people who would have given me good advice. I wish I’d had a good, healthy dialogue

about that aspect of my life.

How do you manage being a single mum to Rose?

Inevitably, I ask myself, do I spread myself too thinly? But there isn’t any option, so I just have to get on with it. Whether you’re parenting together or parenting separately, it’s very tough, isn’t it? Rose sees her dad, but I rely a lot on the people closest to me. I have amazing help from my nanny, Claire, who lives with us, and I’m fortunate that my parents live nearby – they’re very good and adoring grandparents.

You must have a busy household…

Busy and slightly chaotic! We have two dachshunds, Dolly and Clive, who add to the fun. I got them when Rose was four because I thought they’d be good companions in the absence of siblings, and I’m convinced that they’re humans who have been turned into dogs! Dolly is incredibly needy, while Clive is the protector of the household. He’ll stand guard by the back wall all night, just staring at the moon and the stars.

Do you think women can have it all?

There’s certainly more opportunity for that these days. I admire people who stay at home full-time and look after their children, but for me, working makes me a better mum. Because I enjoy what I do, I’m able to come home feeling that sense of fulfilment, which means I can totally commit to being a mum.

You come from an acting dynasty; does your daughter have any aspirations to act?

Luckily, Rose doesn’t want to do it at all because she says actors have to wake up too early. It’s a good, simple reason not to do it!

What attracted you to your latest role in The Trial Of Christine Keeler?

Of all the characters I’ve ever played, Valerie Profumo is probably the one I’ve felt most affinity with. She was a successful actor before she met John Profumo and endured so much scrutiny because of her love for him, and I understood that. I was able to touch on all these things I’ve experienced myself – what it’s like being an actor and a mother and wanting to protect your family from the public eye, and what scrutiny feels like when you’re with

I’ve been around dead bodies for so long on Silent Witness that I see getting older as a privilege

other people who are in the public eye. I was able to thoroughly immerse myself in her life.

You even dyed your hair brown for the role…

That was scary! Rather than making a wig, they wanted to use my own hair. I went along with it, thinking it would only be temporary, but I enjoyed the change so much that I haven’t gone back. It’s great fun because you sort of assume a whole new identity. Richard Lintern, who stars in Silent Witness with me, said, ‘When you were blonde, you were running through meadows. But now you’re brunette, you’re drinking cognac by the fire!’ And it feels a bit like that!

How do you look after your mental wellbeing?

I’ve been having weekly therapy for years and I thrive on it. I feel like it’s part of who I am now. Very often, my therapist and I don’t talk about anything too deep, but it’s just good to have someone else’s perspective, who will give you tools to be able to cope with whatever life throws at you. I know it’s not for everyone, but it has certainly helped me.

What have you learned from it?

I asked my dad [actor Edward Fox], who’s 82 now, ‘What have you learned about life?’ He said, ‘How to be calm,’ and that’s something we focus on a lot in therapy. My therapist helps me to digest the things that are happening before I respond to them too quickly. I’ve definitely been guilty of doing that in the past!

You’ve been through miscarriage and divorce – what have your most challenging times taught you?

I feel like I’ve been through quite a few major challenges, but they’ve actually been the things that have helped make me who I am now. I draw confidence from having been able to survive them and come out the other side seeing them positively. At the time, it can feel like there’s no way through the forest, but there is, and the strength you feel at the end of it is quite incredible.

Is it important for you to stay physically strong, too?

For years, I took my health and fitness for granted, but I had a bit of a turning point when I was filming Delicious a few years ago. I was jumping between that and Silent Witness and trying to juggle everything at home, and I realised that I was going to burn out. So I hired a personal trainer and really got the buzz for it. Now, when I can, I do weight training, Pilates and swimming. My life improved in all areas when I started staying on top of my physical fitness.

What are your goals right now?

I’d love to think acting could be a forever career, but I’ve seen what’s happened at different ages to my parents as actors [Emilia’s mother is Joanna David], so I’d like to try a few other things as well. I have a great appetite for learning: I’ve started taking cooking classes and am slowly mastering the art of home-made granolas and banana pancakes. I’m enthusiastic – whether I’m good at it is a different story!

Have you ever had any cooking disasters?

My biggest fail was when I worked on a film called

Ballet Shoes with the late Victoria Wood. We shared a love of home-made soup, and she’d invite me over to her house for delicious soup with home-baked bread. I decided to return the favour and what a mistake it was. I made what can only be described as the most awful bread rocks for her. We both looked at each other as if to say, ‘No, this is not good.’ I apologised profusely!

How do you like to relax when you’re not working?

The best downtime is when I’m at my parents’ holiday home in Dorset. They have a slightly eccentric but rather idyllic life where there’s no mobile phone reception, no television and the phone sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t. They even still have well water. There are no other distractions apart from being together, going to the beach, being by the fire and playing silly games. What a luxury!

 The Trial Of Christine Keeler airs on Sundays on BBC One