MENTAL HEALTH FOR GROWN-UPS

When it comes to mental health, it seems that midlife women have been overlooked. Anne Montague finds out why and what we can do to safeguard and nourish our psychological wellbeing

Everything you need to know to look after your mental wellbeing in midlife

In recent years, mental health concerns have focused on young people as well as the older generation, but what about those of us in the middle? Those in their 40s, 50s and pre-retirement 60-somethings trying to juggle the conflicting demands of work and home, of ageing parents and growing children. There’s evidence that these midlifers may be the least happy and most anxious of all the age groups.

Looking back, Esther Overton, 41, can see exactly why she became overwhelmed. ‘My husband lost his job and then, shortly after, my elder sister had a stroke and my other sister was diagnosed with cancer,’ she recalls. She remembers feeling anxious and being prescribed antidepressants, but it was only when life had calmed down that things spiralled out of control.

‘I had a month off work but, when I went back, I couldn’t pull myself together,’ she says. ‘I went into the building one day through a different entrance and was hit by utter panic. My chest felt tight, I had palpitations, and my face and hands went numb. Over the following weeks, it got to the point where I couldn’t even go into shops on my own.’

Esther’s experience is surprisingly familiar. One in four of us will experience a common mental disorder such as anxiety or depression in our lifetime and, while there has been a major focus on younger people, midlifers are just as vulnerable.

It’s hardly surprising that this time of life can be hard, and it can become even harder if you’re already prone to anxiety or depression. Midlifers are often simultaneously trying to care for children and ageing parents, as well as facing peak job and financial pressures and the prospect of ageing. ‘It’s often a time of transition and change with children leaving home, parents becoming unwell, relationship changes and menopause all adding to the mix,’ says Jolie Goodman, programmes manager for empowerment

& later life at the Mental Health Foundation.

Although figures published by the ONS in 2018 suggested that people in midlife were the least happy and most anxious group in the population, it’s hard to find other research on this age group. Even MIND, one of the UK’S leading mental health charities, says it doesn’t have research specifically on people in the 35-55 age group. Strange, when you think the phrase ‘midlife crisis’ was actually coined by psychoanalyst and social scientist Elliott Jaques 50 years ago, after his research found that many people go through difficulties in midlife resulting, if not in a crisis, at least in increased levels of anxiety and depression. Other research shows that, based on measures of wellbeing and life satisfaction, what’s become known as ‘the happiness curve’ dips to its lowest point between the ages of 46 and 55.

So far so depressing, but the good news is that, unlike previous generations, we’re starting to talk about it and finding ways to manage it, with celebrities and public figures leading the way. A host of midlifers, from author JK Rowling to broadcaster Alastair Campbell and actor Emma Thompson, have shared their own battles with anxiety and depression and the strategies that have worked for them. ‘The more we talk about it, the more we overcome the stigma,’ says Gemma Lloyd of Rethink Mental Illness. ‘I often ask people, “Do you expect to reach the age of 40 or 50 without ever being physically ill? So, why would you not experience problems with your mental health?”’

One in four of us will experience a mental disorder in our lifetime

A BOLT OUT OF THE BLUES

Why indeed, but it’s often the last thing you expect, and when life is busy and stressful, it can be hard to judge when it’s all becoming too much; when feeling a bit anxious morphs into full-blown anxiety or paralysing panic attacks, or when normal ups and downs become an unrelenting down, draining your joy, energy and interest in life. ‘We hear a lot from people who say that anxiety has come from out of nowhere; perhaps they felt a little stressed and then things have totally got on top of them,’ says Jolie.