FRIENDS ARE THE FAMILY WE CHOOSE
Life-raft friends who can cheer us up and cheer us on are truly special and deserve to be treasured, as these readers have discovered
These readers have found truly special friendships
‘She encouraged me when I didn’t feel good enough’ Jo Thompson and Mary-jane Paterson, both 50, have been each other’s greatest supporters through motherhood and careers.
We’re united in our love of dogs and food, and the fact we don’t take life too seriously
JO SAYS:
‘Mary-jane and I met at a mums’ coffee morning about 15 years ago. I was struck by how refreshingly forthright she was. She seemed intelligent and interesting, and it quickly became apparent that we shared the same sense of humour, which involves finding the ridiculous in everything.
We were both mothers of young children at the time; I have George and Cecilia, now 20 and 18, and she has Kit and Daisy, now 20 and 17. We often felt like we were failing at being “perfect”, and we’d talk honestly about forgetting things at school and feeling exhausted all the time. It was such a relief hearing someone say they felt the same way as I did. We had both recently moved to the countryside and were townies at heart, so I felt like I had found a kindred spirit.
I had trained to be a garden designer and was just starting my own business. When I designed my first garden at the Chelsea Flower Show in 2009, I was away from home for three weeks. The guilt of not seeing my children was extreme, but Mary-jane would reassure me that what I was doing was worthwhile, and she encouraged me when
I didn’t feel good enough.
I’ve since won four gold medals at the Chelsea Flower Show, and my business is flourishing. Mary-jane offered practical assistance when I needed it, such as looking after my children and dogs, and gave me invaluable emotional and mental support, too. When I felt overwhelmed, she suggested I hire some help, and now I have a team of five people.
Mary-jane is an established cook, and over the years she has built my confidence in the kitchen, too. In return, I give her lots of gardening tips, which we share over email exchanges. We have now turned these emails into a book called Rhubarb Rhubarb, which shows how a friend can offer amazing life advice and huge boosts of confidence. I truly believe I wouldn’t be where I am today were it not for Mary-jane.’
MARY-JANE SAYS:
‘I was really lonely when I first moved to the countryside. Most of my friends were still in London, and even though they would visit at weekends, there was always a tear in my eye when they set off on their journeys back. I always felt like I wanted to get in the boot and go with them!
Meeting Jo was such a relief because she felt the same way, and we could have such a laugh; she’s quirky, irreverent and funny. Throughout my life, I’ve always felt a bit different, but Jo embraces eccentricity and I love that about her.
I wasn’t working at the time we met. I was raising my kids and felt a bit lost, but Jo boosted my confidence. She was doing so brilliantly with her gardening that it inspired me. She said to me, “You can do whatever you want, so just go and do it.”
As a result, I took an acting course alongside a group of 18-year-olds.
It really pushed me out of my comfort zone, but I enjoyed every second! Before I married, I’d trained at Leiths School of Food and Wine. Jo loved my food and encouraged me to put my skills to good use.
I now help out at cooking schools and it has been brilliant working on our book together.
Jo and I are united in our love of dogs and food, and the fact we don’t take life too seriously. In my opinion, that’s the perfect recipe for friendship.’
Rhubarb Rhubarb by Jo Thompson and Mary-jane Paterson (Unbound) is out now