‘We have shared all of life’s highs and lows together’
Jane Dean, 60, and Heather Wicks, 63, celebrate their 40-year friendship anniversary this year.
We always pick up where we left off
JANE SAYS:
‘In 1980, I was recently married and working as a sales rep holding make-up parties. I delivered a party at Heather’s house and we talked for ages after everyone had left. We had so much in common. We were both fresh-faced 20-something newlyweds, not knowing what life would bring us. We’re both very chatty and, even at the start, we were finishing each other’s sentences.
Heather lived so close to me in High Wycombe that we could wave to each other from our windows, and we spent so much time together. A couple of years later, I moved to Southampton. It would have been easy for us to lose touch, but Heather is amazing at writing letters and we’d speak on the phone and meet up whenever we could.
We both fell pregnant in 1986 and would spend hours on the phone, giddy with nerves and excitement about becoming mothers. After my daughter, Laura, was born and Heather had her son, Matthew, they’d visit and we’d go down to the beach, armed with buckets, spades and sun hats.
It was so much fun, so when we both found out we were pregnant again, we were overjoyed. I had Emma in January 1989 and her son, Simon, was born in April. Heather suffered the most unspeakable tragedy when Simon developed a blood infection and died when he was nine months old. I’ve never felt such heartache as I did at Simon’s funeral, when I watched his tiny white coffin being carried by his dad.
Heather and I hugged so tightly and sobbed until our eyes were sore. It was the saddest day. We would talk about him for hours, and we still do now.
I love Heather dearly for always being there for Emma, when it must be so painful watching her grow when Simon never could. Heather went on to have two more lovely children, Hollie, 28, and Jordan, 26.
We’ve always supported each other; Heather was there for me through my divorce and when my mum died. She was such a good listener and I always felt seen and understood.
We don’t see each other as much as we’d like, but our meetings are always so special. In many ways, we haven’t changed a bit from when we first met 40 years ago. We can still chat for hours and share our hopes, dreams and fears. But as we grow older together, our friendship has become so much more precious.’
HEATHER SAYS:
‘My son, Simon, has been gone for 30 years, and Jane always remembers the anniversary. She will send me a message to say she’s thinking of me and will talk to me about him. Sometimes it’s difficult seeing Emma, but I am so proud of the woman she has become, and that pain was never worth losing my friendship with Jane. She just gets me, and I can depend on her no matter what.
When we meet, we pick up where we left off. Jane is so friendly and easy to get along with, and I always love being around her. Social media has been a godsend: we can keep up with each other over Facebook and Whatsapp and it keeps us closer than ever before. We still send each other cards and letters, though, and I treasure each one.
For Christmas, I bought Jane a keyring that I think sums up our friendship well. It reads, “Side by side or miles apart, friends are always close at heart.”’