‘LIFE CAN CHANGE BUT THE WORLD DOESN’T HAVE TO STOP’ Katie Piper talks about inner strength and gratitude for the NHS
In times of struggle, it can be hard to find a way forward. The campaigner, writer and former model Katie Piper talks to Ella Dove about discovering her inner strength, dealing with negativity and the debt she owes the NHS
Many of us don’t find our resilience until we have to use it
Resilience can get you through challenging times and there are few people better equipped to offer hope and positivity than Katie Piper. With her warm smile and reassuring tone, she has an air of inherent kindness. There is a natural wisdom flowing from her, effortless and eloquent. ‘Resilience means confidence,’ she says. ‘It means you can cope with any situation.’
Katie’s own experience is a striking example of triumph over adversity. She was 24 and working as a model in 2008 when her obsessive ex-boyfriend Daniel Lynch, who had already sexually assaulted her, arranged for an accomplice to throw sulphuric acid at her. The attack left Katie blind in one eye, with severe burns to her face and neck.
But Katie refuses to dwell on the past. She glosses over the details of years spent in and out of hospital, hundreds of operations and reconstructive procedures and the psychological struggle she has faced. ‘The main turning point for me was realising that I couldn’t change what had happened,’ she says. ‘I would write lists of the things I could and couldn’t control, and it helped me to let go of a lot of negative thoughts. Releasing them from my head on to paper was a way of acknowledging rather than obsessing about them. It gave me extra energy, which meant I became more productive for my future instead of constantly dwelling on the past.’
NEVER LOOK BACK
Katie’s resolution to look ahead and not behind is a testament to both her coping strategies and her character. ‘Sometimes these things make you more determined to make something of your life,’ she says. And make something she has – in the 12 years since her attack, her achievements have been numerous and impressive. They include her Bafta-nominated Channel 4 documentary, Katie: My Beautiful Face, about her recovery journey, competing in Strictly Come Dancing in 2018; seven published books and journals; and the creation of her own charity, The Katie Piper Foundation, which provides care and support to people living with burns and scars.
Using her platform for good is something she is hugely passionate about. ‘We don’t just work for money; we work for purpose and identity, too,’ she says. ‘After the attack, I didn’t have a job or a purpose, but seeking to make a difference helped me with resilience – it’s how I got my life back.
I will never forget how many charities supported me. I wanted to pay that kindness back, particularly when it comes to our brilliant NHS. When I was in hospital, I would go to sleep, then I’d wake up and see the same nurses still on their shifts. It humbled me to think that they were putting so much effort into helping me. The least I could do in return was to put my all into getting better and I vowed to help others do the same.’
Her podcast, Katie Piper’s Extraordinary People, is one way she gives back, providing a voice to those who have been through adversity. ‘I interview people with both visible and invisible scars,’ she explains. ‘But they all have this common thread – rejection by society due to made-up standards of what normality looks like. They have all been resilient enough to push back and say, “No, I do fit in. These are made-up rules.” And when they share their stories, they all have this inspiring glimmer of human spirit. I want to show that just because life can take an unexpected turn, the world doesn’t have to stop. You can still have big dreams, big successes.’
MESSAGE OF HOPE
Katie’s message of hope has created a supportive online community – she has thousands of followers on social media. But being in the public eye also has its drawbacks. As the victim of such a high-profile attack, she was catapulted into unexpected fame, which meant nothing was private. Katie has been subject to online abuse and trolling, with
brutal comments about her appearance and even racism targeted at her husband, carpenter Richard Sutton.
They met through a mutual friend in 2013, married two years later and now have two daughters, Belle, six, and Penelope, three. ‘Racism has been a big thing,’ she admits. ‘You would have thought our society had progressed, but there are still people who are anti mixed marriages, writing horrible, judgemental things about Richard and our children. I don’t have it as bad as some people, but the internet is this space where you can operate without empathy, and some people think without consequence.’
However, far from allowing the trolls to drag her down, Katie promised herself not to listen. ‘Ultimately, it’s about mindset,’ she says. ‘My girls are not part of my professional life – I don’t ever put pictures of their faces up online. When I stumble across gossip sites or nasty comments, I just have to shut my laptop and tell myself not to read any further. It’s not valid and I won’t let it get to us.’
PRACTISING EMPATHY
Surely it must upset her? ‘It can,’ she concedes. ‘But unkindness doesn’t come from nowhere. Someone once said to me: “Only hurt people hurt people,” so I try to take a step back and remind myself of that – it goes back to thinking about what I can and can’t control. The word “troll” can be overused, because having a different opinion to a celebrity on Twitter isn’t trolling them – you just don’t agree and that’s okay. I don’t think we should live in a world where everyone thinks my burns are attractive. I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and actually, resilience means being able to cope with not being liked all the time. I don’t want my daughters to need affirmation and gratification from strangers. It’s not healthy.’
Their family, she continues, is a ‘really open household, where no conversations are off-limits’. She is fostering strength and confidence in her daughters by allowing them to be who they want to be. ‘I want them to find their own way,’ she says, ‘so they have lots of varied hobbies; not just dancing, but football and volleyball, too.’
When it comes to her own psychological wellbeing, consistency is crucial. ‘It’s things such as waking up at the same time every day, making sure
I have a good diet and having a daily gossip with my mum on the phone,’ says Katie. ‘Exercise is also something I need. For me, physical and mental strength are really connected. I’m not an aerobics or yoga person, but I love weightlifting, really sweating and going a bit bananas for an hour! At the end of a workout, I feel more assertive and empowered, like I can carry myself better.’
When I remark that perhaps we all need to be a bit more ‘Katie’, she laughs. ‘Everyone copes in different ways,’ she says. ‘I’m really happy now, but I wasn’t; I was very angry for a long time. Resilience is something many of us don’t find until we have to use it – only then do we realise how strong we actually are.’
Katie’s Extraordinary People podcast is available now via Apple, Acast and Spotify