EDIE’S LIFE LESSONS
Be a survivor, not a victim
‘Suffering is universal, but victimhood is optional. There is no way to escape being hurt or oppressed by other people or circumstances. We don’t get to choose what happens to us, but we do get to choose whether or not we stay a victim. We ask “why?” over and over, believing that if we could just figure out the reason, the pain would lessen. But when we ask “why”, we’re stuck searching for someone or something to blame, including ourselves. The first tool for moving out of victimhood is to approach whatever is happening with a gentle embrace. It doesn’t mean you have to like what’s happening. But when you stop fighting and resisting, you have more energy and imagination to figure out, “What now?” and to move forward, instead of nowhere; to discover what you want and need in this moment, and where you want to go from here.’
It takes courage not to be discouraged
‘There’s progress and change all around us. Set a timer for 10 minutes and make a list of as many things as you can think of that are better now than they were five years ago. Think of things on a global scale – human rights advances, technological innovations, new works of art. And think on a personal level, too – things you’ve made, achieved or changed for the better. Let the work that still needs to be done be a catalyst for hope, not despair.’
The most obnoxious person you meet will be your best teacher
‘The next time you’re in the presence of someone who irks or offends you, soften your eyes and tell yourself, “Human, no more, no less. Human, like me.” Then ask yourself, “What are they here to teach me?”’
Don’t let grief go unresolved
‘Grief changes, but it doesn’t go away. Denying your grief won’t help you heal, nor will it help to spend more time with the dead than you do with the living. If someone you love has died, give yourself 30 minutes every day to honour the person and the loss. Take an imaginary key, unlock your heart and free your grief. Cry, yell, listen to music that reminds you of your loved one, look at pictures, read old letters. Express and be with your grief, 100%. When the 30 minutes have passed, tuck your loved one safely inside your heart, and get back to living.’
Would you like to be married to you?
‘Think about what qualities you think create a comfortable and thriving relationship. Would you like to be married to someone like you? What strengths do you bring to the table? What behaviours might be challenging to live with? Make a list. Are you living in a way that brings out your best self?’