Have you
You exuded such a sense of joy on Strictly. always been so upbeat?
Like everyone, I’ve had darker times in my life (unhappiness, unemployment, grief and loss), but actually, I am a positive person. What I feel as I get older is that I’m so grateful. I do have the most extraordinary luck. There’s no other way of looking at it. I have fallen on my feet in so many ways in my life. I met my husband out of the blue and I had my children completely unexpectedly. I wake up every morning and thank my lucky stars that I’m in good health and I get to have another day on this planet. I think some of the positivity might come from my love of nature, too. My spirits lift when I look at a tree. If I watch birds for half an hour and sit in the quiet, I feel a connection to the earth and it does make me feel better. And hopeful.
Looking back at 2020, what were the positives for you?
I’d started the year in rehearsal at the National Theatre for a new play, Jack Absolute Flies Again. Then, we went into the first lockdown and plans changed. I was very fortunate as I live in the countryside, I had my children at home and Sam and I were together. I spent a lot of time in the greenhouse. You’ve never seen anything like it – Monty Don’s got nothing on me! I was relentlessly growing and planting things I’ve never had time to do before and I absolutely loved it. I spent time with the dogs and the cats and the kids and the cucumbers. I was very lucky.
What else keeps you positive?
Exercise lifts my mood. I was doing the Couch to 5K programme before I went on Strictly. I try to run three or four times a week because I actually really enjoy it, which I’m amazed at. I think it does help that I found the right sports bra, at last!
You turned 60 in July. How did you feel entering a new decade?
I suddenly thought: ‘I have less time ahead of me than I have behind me – what am I going to do? What do I want to do?’ My children are well and they’re growing up, so I decided to start doing things that I fancy doing; things that I haven’t done before and will be a bit of a challenge. It’s almost a mindset, I think. I’m not really frightened of much any more. I care much less about what people think about me (except my family, obviously). As an actor, you tend to have to be a bit of a people-pleaser, and I think that I just don’t really care about that so much any more.
What was the biggest lesson you learned about yourself when you were on Strictly?
It was the greatest learning curve. It’s grindingly difficult and terrifying. It’s like having an opening night every Saturday night, but I learned that I can forget myself long enough to just be there to entertain people. I was there to bring two minutes of joy into people’s lives. When I was younger, I would have worried about getting it exactly right. Now, I’ve learned that I’m more than capable of saying, ‘To hell with it. Let’s just have fun!’ We don’t know what’s around the corner, so let’s enjoy now, this absolute minute. It’s taught me that in bucket-loads.
Johannes is a real Strictly favourite. What was it like being paired with him?
He’s divine. He landed in front of me and I thought, ‘I’ve waited for you all my life!’ I absolutely worship him. He’s brilliant. He has the patience of a saint and, when I’d make mistakes dancing, he’d just roar with laughter at me. I can’t find words to say how lucky I am to have met him. He’s an extraordinary man. He’s so clever and such good fun. He’s adorable.
Is he now a friend for life?
If he wants to get rid of me, he can’t, because I love him. Sam and the kids have Facetimed him. He’s ours. He’s part of the family now and there’s no getting away.
What else did you take away from the experience?
I went in to learn the dances and, for me, that’s still the highlight. I didn’t know my foxtrot from my paso doble and now I do, and I find that really pleasing for some reason. There’s a real joy in learning just for learning’s sake.
You lost weight during the first national lockdown. What was behind that?
When you hit a certain age, the doctor says you really are vulnerable to a number of health conditions, such as diabetes and those sorts of things. Rather than use lockdown as a time to eat more, I decided to move about and eat less. I lost a stone and a half, and I do feel better for it.
Did you change your diet?
Not madly. I have coeliac disease, so I tend to eat quite healthily anyway. I eat a lot of fish, fruit, vegetables and gluten-free pasta. Once or twice a year, I give myself a month without any sugar in my diet. Having read about it, I think it’s really good to wean yourself off, but it’s very hard to avoid. I do really well for a couple of months, then suddenly I find myself with a nosebag of Tate & Lyle!
What are you looking forward to most about the future?
I’ve really enjoyed my landmark birthdays. I loved turning 40, and turning 50 didn’t feel like it was a massive change. But
60 is definitely different. I am determined that this decade is going to be about being with the people I love more. I want to go to the theatre more. I want to see more art. I want to hear more music. I want to look at more paintings. I want to grow more cucumbers. I want to see more friends. I’m going to do more of the things I genuinely love doing and not sweat the small stuff. I’m really going to try to bear in mind every day that life is limited.
That’s a good philosophy…
I’m pretty excited about my 60s. They’ve started well, so I have a good feeling about this decade. I’m out the other side of the menopause, my hair’s grey, but I’m still here. And I’m damned if I’m going to let anyone grind me down. I’m going to enjoy it. And perhaps I’m going to be the woman that I always wanted to be.
I lost a stone and a half in weight during lockdown and I do feel better for it
My children think I’m ludicrous and tell me so constantly
My friend, the actor Anne Reid. She’s in her 80s and she’s a force of nature. She is hilarious and says exactly what she thinks. She has all sorts of opinions about my haircut at the moment that she doesn’t hold back (none of them are positive, I fear to tell you). But I worship her. She lifts me up because she takes no nonsense from anybody, but she’s kind and really good fun.
How important are your friends?
There’s a lot of serious stuff in the world and what we don’t need is to take ourselves seriously. I know someone loves me if they laugh at me. My children think I’m ludicrous and tell me so constantly, or they laugh at me. It’s good for me; it makes me consider my own pretensions and I think it’s really important that friends can do that and take the mickey out of you.
What advice would you give to your younger self?
I know exactly what I’d say: ‘Stop apologising for who you are and start being who you are.’ If I had my time again, I’d stop worrying about the perception of oneself: what you look like, how you sound, what you say and what you wear. I’d get on with being me and actually knowing that I’m good enough. We women are so tough on ourselves. We screw up, make mistakes, put on weight, have terrible haircuts, buy horrible jumpers – but so what? I’m still doing that! I’m out and proud with my terrible haircuts and jumpers. I think my younger self would be amazed at the way my life has turned out, actually.
Have you always found positives in challenging situations?
I have. I think I got that from my mum. However hard things were, she would always either find a way to laugh or learn from the situation and I think I’ve always been able to do that.
What’s the most challenging thing you’ve ever faced?
I lost a couple of babies when I was in my 40s and they were dark days. The press were all over it because my phone had been hacked. I didn’t know at the time, obviously, so those days were pretty dark, being followed around by some rather unscrupulous people and people knowing my private information before I’d chosen to share it. It was awful. But you know what they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and perhaps it did do that. It’s still quite hard to view those times with anything other than creeping nausea. I’m in the middle of the court case at the moment.
I carried on. Just carried on carrying on.
Working as an actor for more than 40 years must feel like quite an achievement…
I began working in theatre around my 16th birthday and I’m really proud of it! I started out when summer season at the end of the pier was a big deal. Variety shows weren’t Ant and Dec, they were Sir Bruce Forsyth and Mike Yarwood.
I come from that generation when entertainers had to be able to tap dance, spin plates and, you know, do a Lulu impression to make a living. I think that person who was slap bang in the middle of good old-fashioned variety (which I love) would never think she’d be in a movie with John Cleese and Elizabeth Hurley and Kelsey Grammer. She would look at that and go, ‘That can’t be that same person!’ It’s really thrilling.
What do you think is the key to a happy, long relationship?
If there’s a problem, you have to voice it, and if there’s ironing to be done, he has to do it. It’s a very simple recipe for domestic happiness! If something’s troubling you, say it and deal with it. As long as I don’t have to do too much housework, I’m happy. Sam loves to hoover. He’s brilliant. I fell on my feet, so thanks to my mother-in-law, Lesley, for handing him to me perfectly formed.
Did you enjoy having your kids at home so much this year?
I loved it! They are so funny. They adore each other, which is really helpful. There’s no tension between them; they laugh all the time together and gang up on me and Sam. During lockdown, we played card games, board games, games on the kids’ phones and silly things like that. We just have a good time together. I know we drive them mad because we are helicopter parents, but they know it comes from a good place.
Do you think your children take after you or Sam?
My boy is (and I know all mothers say this) so clever. He’s six foot four and I’m five foot two, and he’s so smart. He teaches Sam and I about everything and really helps us understand the world. He has a thirst for knowledge about people and places. He wants to study politics, philosophy and economics at university and I’m so proud of him.
How do you feel about your daughter Rose following in your acting footsteps?
She’s just started out and I’m so happy for her. She’s really good and she’s so disciplined. She knows you have to put in the hours and do it with good grace and she’s ready for that. Also, I think in an uncertain world, people are always going to need entertainment.
Especially now, those distractions are vital…
I agree. I really do. You look at how popular Strictly was; people need a little bit of respite from the terrible worries they have, such as how they are going to manage and if they are going to stay well. It’s unbearable. People’s lives are really hard at the moment and, if we can just give them five minutes of fun, that’s marvellous. I think my daughter is ready to do that, too. • Caroline stars in Dickensian on BBC iplayer and Bridgerton on Netflix